Initial Impressions: Trials HD

Well I thought I would finally give Trials HD a whirl after hearing how good it was from some of my buddies a while ago. I was expecting something along the lines of "Joe Danger" except with a more realistic look. I have to say though that I was left a bit disappointed. I will admit that I only tried the first 4-5 levels of the game so it could be a case of just needing to spend a bit more time with the game to see it at its best.

With that being said though sometimes you only need to spend 5 minu

tes playing to know if your going to like a game; and if that's the case then Trials HD is something that I feel is cold and lacking soul. If you have the choice of playing either Joe Danger or Trials HD then it has to Joe Danger every time. It is a shame though as I really wanted to like Trials HD as it does kind of remind me of the old Spectrum game Kick Start. (And the much improved sequel Kick Start 2) Yet it feels like a step backwards in time and not in a good way.

Trials HD is a simple game that wouldn't be out of place on a compilation with any of the games you used to play back in the day and enjoyed. You know the type I mean, the ones that were fun once but if you played them today you would think "Wow this game is so crap, how the heck did I used to enjoy this shit!" Trails HD is a Marmite game, (You either like it or you don't) and for me this is one game I wish I didn't bother playing, whether that will change when I next try it will be another matter, but for now I have to say I doubt it.

Halo Reach Killed My 360

Well I thought I had better start posting again to get back into the swing of things since I have now moved house. (Although I can only update from other peoples houses as I am still waiting for bloody internet sorting out Grrr!) So any way back onto topic, after getting told to play Halo Reach repeatedly by my mate I decided to give in and pinch his copy and play the game. (Seemed easier than kicking his head in, plus I bruise easily)

So there I was playing the latest Halo game and I have to say that the game wasn't as bad as I first thought it would be. All though that could be down to the vast amounts of alcohol I had induced. So any way so far into the game you fall to the planets surface damaging your suit. It was at this point upon landing that I had to turn the night vision on in the game so that I could actually see anything, as without this being on everything was very hard to see. (Although even with the night vision turned on it was hard to see as everything seemed really glitchy) It was at this point I turned to Mrs Flea and said how cool a feature it was that the fall to earth actually damaged your suit and visor to such a degree that you couldn't see anything after the fall.

Using a gun and jetpack at the same time? Gay!!

Around one hour later I was getting pretty pissed off with the lack of vision in the game, which resulted in more than one or two deaths of my character. When I paused the game the text you get when paused looked perfect, so I thought it must still be part of the game. With this knowledge I soldiered on for around 30 minutes more until I had enough and quit to the main menu. The main menu was the same no glitches at all except for in the background which I put down to the point I was currently at in the game. It was at this point I thought fuck it and quit to the dashboard, once again the dash looked perfect with no signs of anything being wrong. So I turned the 360 off and went off to do some other things.

Around 2 hours later my brother in law turned up to have a look at Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare. (He wanted to test it before going to buy it from the store the cheap bastard) Only upon trying to put the game on my 360 decided to give me the finger and flash the ring of death at me. So basically Halo killed my 360, I wouldn't mind but it wasn't all that great a game anyway.

Wasting Money On Games

You know what its like, you see a game on sale or you pick up the game you pre-ordered 5 months before and then put them on your shelf to play at another time. As time passes you think I will play that in a while, yet a few months pass and it is still sat there on your shelf, and your left wondering why you have bought the game if you can't be arsed playing it.

I think this happens to quite a few people, myself included as I browse my shelves and see unopened games I really can't be arsed bringing myself to play. Only the other day I bought the PS2 game Odin Sphere because it was on sale and I may play it one day, but then again I probably won't and it will just sit on my shelf collecting dust.


I really am quite terrible for doing this, I walk into the store for one thing and end up coming out with about 5 and thinking to myself "Shit I needed that money for food". I just can't seem to resist buying games just so I add to my collection. Worst still is when I have bought brand new full price games, as those things aren't exactly cheap. Then there are the times I decided to import a game of plump for the special limited edition with the bonus dvd I will never watch.

It is scary to think how much money I have spent on games just to have them never getting played, or playing one or two of them for less than an hour and putting them on my shelf to never play again. I could trade them in but I wouldn't get anything for most of them, since you lose so much on trades. (Yet shops like Game sell them second hand at double or triple the price they give you)

It's not just games either, I have a Wii that last got touched about 4 or 5 months ago when I bought a new game for it. It is now just sat there unplugged annoying me saying "Wow you bought me and all these games for nothing" and it's true I have spent about 50 hours playing on the Wii since I bought it just after launch. The worst thing is the game I have played most on it is Wii Sports, so why the heck did I buy the other games for it when I knew I wouldn't play them.


Here are just a few of the games sat on my shelf still sealed.....

• Fallout 3 (360)
  
• Condemned 2 (360)
• Tiger Woods 09 (360)
• Madden 09 (360)
• Eternal Sonata (360)
• Devil May Cry 4 (360)
• Project Silpheed (360)
• Need For Speed: Undercover (360)
• Opoona (Wii)
  
• Final Fantasy 4 (GBA & DS)
• Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings (DS)
  
• Freekstyle (Gamecube)
  
• Baiten Kaitos (Gamecube)
  
• Tales of Symphonia (Gamecube)
• Soul Calibur 2 (Xbox & Gamecube)
• Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter (PS2)
  
• Odin Sphere (PS2)
  

....and the list goes on with games on multiple systems, never mind the games I played for an hour or less.


The real crime in all this is I have fantastic games like the ones listed above, and yet I am playing crap like Jumper, My Horse and Me 2, Space Chimps and many other crap games that I shouldn't even think about playing. I guess it's time I took a step back and looked at what I am doing as a gamer, maybe it is time I started playing some of these games before buying any new ones. At least if I play a few of them it would not seem like a complete waste of money as it does now.

The Bourne Conspiracy Review

Who doesn't like the Bourne series of films starring Matt Damon? When you mention the Bourne series everyone thinks Matt Damon, so why in the heck did he turn down the chance to be in the game? Your going to love this, apparently he turned down the role because of the violence in it, Yep that’s right he turned down the game because it was going to contain violence. The Bourne films that he starred in featured absolutely no violence at all in them, oh wait they did and that’s why people like the films as its not violence for the sake of violence its story driven violence that without it would make the films shit. Just like if your going to make a game of a film like the Bourne series and just have the lock picking and driving the car, Who the heck wants to just drive somewhere and pick a lock.



I was dreading playing this game after receiving a demo of the game in the post from Sierra along with a note saying this demo is not for review purposes, So don't review the game based on this. I made my mind up playing the demo that the game would be cack and not worth picking up to play. Well I don't know what they did between the demo and the final release but the game just seems so much better now than it did before. Heck I even enjoyed the game and I'm a miserable sod. The demo suffered from camera issues which have thankfully been improved, there are still some times that you will be annoyed by them, but its very rare now and as a result the game now feels a lot better for it.

One thing that I hated about the demo was the car driving level that sees you driving round the streets of Paris, it just seemed to be wedged in when it wasn't really needed. In the final version of the game I still don't like it, but the good news is that’s the only level in the game that sees you behind the wheel of the mini, and thankfully its pretty short as well.



So what is the game all about, the game is about Jason Bourne as you would expect, but rather than just following the films it also sees you taking up a couple more missions from his past just to pad the game out a bit more. One good thing is this isn't your usual game based on a movie dross, as it tends to lean towards the books, and as a result adds that bit more to the characters past.

The game starts off with you trying to kill another assassin called O'Conner who has been hired by the former African dictator Nykwana Wombosiafter after receiving a tip off that you are trying to assassinate him. So its with little surprise that you need to get your would be assassin before he gets you. There's just one problem he has his own men that are trying to stop you getting to him, so the chase is on through the streets of some town in France as you follow his trail to a back street then into a bar where you get to try your hand at some hand to hand combat.



The controls for hand to hand fighting are really simple to use, with X and Y being your attack buttons and A enabling you to block. So just three buttons then? Nope the B button gives you a special finishing move called a takedown that can see you using the objects around you to quickly defeat your enemy if you have enough adrenaline in your meter. (You get adrenaline by fighting and getting headshots with a weapon)That’s not all though, say you have 2 or 3 enemies around you and your adrenaline meter is full, a little tap of the B button starts a quick time event that will flash a button on the screen for you to press for each enemy, dispatching the lot of them in one go. Failure however will see you lose all the adrenaline you would have used to dispatch them.

The shooting in the games not to bad either with you also being able to get behind cover and pop up and shoot, one thing though is you can only see where your aiming when you aren't in cover so its not like Rainbow Six where you can aim a reticule before you pop out, its all down to guess work. One section later in the game will have you screaming at your TV because of it, but if you use the cover wisely and guess where your going to shoot before you pop from behind cover you wont really have any trouble. Again like in the hand-to-hand combat you can also use the adrenaline gauge to dispatch enemies with little fuss at all. The only difference is you will get a quick time event when dispatching a solo enemy when using the adrenaline shot.



One thing that I wasn't keen on was sometimes while fighting an enemy in hand to hand combat you would rarely get another enemy with a gun shooting you from distance, but you can just move backwards to fight round a corner so the bullets don't hit you. It is annoying none the less though and could have been fixed by the programmers so it doesn't happen before the game was actually released, like I said though its just a minor issue and a rare occurrence.

You also have something called the Bourne Instinct, which allows you to see things that are of interest to you, from guns and ammo crates, to enemies and passports. Why people have left passports stood up like birthday cards around the level is a bit strange, either way High Moon Studios put them in to collect for all the gamers that like to track everything in the game down. When you find them all on a level you unlock an extra which you can access from the start screen.



The game spans over 11 levels in total which will take you around 6-7 hours at a guess, which just seems to fit the game just right. (I played the game over 2 days so cant be exact sorry) So it was a nice surprise from the usual to short or to long that it bores you to tears annoyance that we sometimes see with games.

I would have to give the game a thumbs up though, its a good way to waste away a day or two, and worth a try at least. As game companies normally put that a demo may not match the finished article, this is certainly the case with this game. So if you have tried the demo and you have made your mind up about the game then that’s a shame, your missing out on a good game.

Rating Box Stolen from Console Heroes

Warriors Orochi Review

Koei`s Dynasty Warriors and Samurai Warriors game series you either love them or hate them, as a result many of you will just ignore Warriors Orochi. Those that do however will miss out on a pretty cool game that deserves a lot more attention than most will give it.Yes it is similar to the Dynasty Warriors series in many ways, but its also very different as well.
So whats the game about? Its about £40 if you in the UK, $60 American, Seriously though its about the Serpent King Orochi using his demonic powers and shattering time and space to fuse together the three kingdoms era of china and the warring states period of japan, so that he may test his might against the legendary warriors of ancient China (Dynasty Warriors) and ancient Japan(Samurai Warriors) in battle.
Don't worry though that`s not all there is to the story line, as the game spans over four different main story lines for the factions of Shu,Wie,Wu and Samurai Warriors each consisting of 8 main levels with a further 7 levels a piece covering the X storylines, an alternative take to the original main branch, each with a totally unique last level compared to the in twined ending of the main story branch.



All story`s start off with a cut scene of the characters getting transported to the middle of nowhere to battle Orochi, The story of the very first Shu mission is that Zhao Yun has been held prisoner beneath Ueda Castle which is under the Serpent Kings control. Worrying about his masters safety (Liu Bei) Zhao Yun must escape from the castle and reunite with his master to defeat Orochi.
This mission has you playing as the following three characters.....
(I don't know why but playing as real people from centuries ago just seems to add something more to the game)

Zhao Yun who according to Wiki was a major military general during the civil wars of the late Han Dynasty and during the Three Kingdoms era of China. For most of his career, Zhao Yun served the warlord Liu Bei, playing a part in the establishment of Shu Han. In literature and folklore he is lauded as the third member of the Five Tiger Generals.

Xing Cai who is unfortunately a fictional character who is believed to be based upon Zhang Fei`s daughters.
She is depicted as a calm and collected warrior who wields a two-pronged fork called the "Ambition". Her ultimate goal is to protect her husband's kingdom in her father's stead.

Yoshimiro Shimazu,Again according to Wiki was a skilled general and the victory against the Ito clan at the battle of Kigasakihara on 1572 is counted as one of his many victories. He contributed greatly to the unification of Kyushu. On 1587, facing Toyotomi Hideyoshi's troops that sought to pacify Kyushu, Yoshihiro pressed for a war even after his brother and the head of clan Yoshihisa surrendered. After Yoshihisa repeatedly asked for the surrender, Yoshihiro finally did surrender. After Yoshihisa became a Buddhist monk, it had been believed that he became the head of the clan but the real power remained in Yoshihisa's hands.




All pretty cool characters and a pretty balanced team in all, with Zhao Yun being a mix of speed and strength,Xing Cai`s Speed and Yoshimiro`s power they are a pretty formidable team, and are all pretty fun to play as.

So what makes this game different from the previous Koei games, well the main difference is you can switch between 3 characters per stage during play as opposed to being stuck with 1 character that plays like a turd (Yes i do mean Yoshimoto Imagawa). You know the kind that causes you to just give up on the other games in the series, as you press buttons but don't seem to have any effect on the enemy units around you. With 3 characters you can change between on the fly though, there is always a character that you will enjoy playing as, which in turn makes the game so much more fun to play. It also makes the game a bit easier than previous titles in the Koei game series, as when one character is nearly dead you can switch them out to rest, instead of seeing the dreaded defeat screen in their other games.
Just when you find a character you like and have levelled up over a few levels, you normally unlock another character who is much more fun to play as than the last (Mitsunari Ishida), with the majority of the characters having different moves and combos, most are different, but with over 75 characters its with little suprise that some of the characters do seem like carbon copys of others with just graphical changes, although once you found 3 you like you don't normally change them, so its not a big problem.



Yes it is just a button masher with you mainly just using the X and Y buttons, but there are also combinations that come into play with an extra press of the X button before the Y sometimes meaning all the difference between a average move and one that takes out most of the enemies around you. Along with these combos you also have the special attacks activated by the RB button which depending on the character can be something really cool that does a lot of damage, (Mitsunari Ishida) to something rather lack luster (Yoshimoto Imagawa again) that makes you wish you saved your musou gauge, these moves however like the Musou moves can get you out of a pickle when your swarmed by enemies with only a slither of health left, some characters special attacks don't use any of the Musou though, which is pretty handy as you don't have to worry about conserving your energy so you have enough to use the Musou move for the next officer you have to defeat.Incase you have not played any of Koei`s games before a Musou move is a super devastating move that does a serious amount of damage, kind of like Ryu`s Shinku Hadoken and Akuma`s Shun Goku Satsu in the Street Fighter series, or Tidus and his overdrive moves in Final Fantasy X.

Another cool feature added to the game is the ability to customise and strengthen the attack power of your weapons, with a total of four weapons in the game to be found for each character. The customisation of the weapons costs growth points that you get from playing the game. With each weapon being able to add an extra 20 points of attack power and having 8 abilities used on them from the rather pointless air, which is good against enemies in the air.(I've seen about 3 enemy officers in the whole game jump and that`s all) to the much better ones like ice which freezes enemies in blocks of ice while you give them a beating.




As well as these though you also have character abilities which you unlock by meeting certain conditions in the game, from defeating 180 troops in a set time limit to taking out so many officers without using any of your musou gauge. These can make a big difference to how easy or hard the game can be for you, if playing on normal upwards, with abilities such as Vitality that extends your life bar, or acclaim that gives you more experience so you level up faster. You can only equip seven of these in total though, which is pretty annoying when you want to equip eight of them, If they made it so you could equip eight though i would want to equip nine, but hey I'm greedy i want everything and more



Each level has you basically having to defeat certain officers, while making sure that one or two of your own stay alive, while taking out troops along the way.
So what is it about the game that makes it fun to play? I don't know but i got all the achievements in it, (Yes I'm sorry i mentioned them in a review but i had to) but then proceeded to play the game for another 3 - 4 hours after. In short this game just seems to have something that keeps me coming back for more. I'm not a big fan of going around collecting this and that, levelling this character up and crap like that, Yet i would gladly sit here and do it for 90% of the characters in the game, unlocking all the abilities and getting the fourth weapons for each character. This games fun and i like it, it just has this charm about it maybe its because there doesn't seem to be much choice around now days with the plethora of First Person Shooters, even though that`s not the case as There`s a lot of good games still being made that don't involve guns.

So in closing go and at least rent the game and give it a try, if you don't like it come back and call me a liar, i cant really say fairer than that, but hopefully one or two of you will appreciate and treasure this game for what it is,an old school hack n` slash game play with a lot more to offer than you will see in a screen shot.


Audio – 7.0
Visual - 7.5
Gameplay - 8.0
Lifespan - 9.0
Presentation - 7.5

Flea In The Head 2 Head GamerScore League

Well it appears im going to be entering season 3 of the Head 2 Head GamerScore League,i never thought i would enter into it as it sort of spawned from me saying no to CC99999 and Trip299`s idea on how i should run the GamerScore League i came up with.
I saw it as a slap in the face originally,and was pretty annoyed about it all,but meh if you can take someones idea and improve it surely that cant be a bad thing and they improved on it a heck of a lot.

Im actually looking forward to it now though,especially as i dont have to update the scores and keep track of all the players,which was a major pain in the ass to say the least.

So how does it work?
Well for 4 days your team competes against another getting as much gamerscore as they can,and it goes on your win loss record,Then the week later you do the same against a different team,until all teams have played each other in their respective divisions.
Then the playoffs start,how do these work?
I have no idea.

There is also some prizes this time around including a 8gb Zune for the MVP and a game for each member of the winning team.

With the start date the 6th March ive got to resist playing any games i dont have points in so i can score as much as possible for my team,it also means i have to play Jumper again on my normal tag and not my review tag,im dredding having to replay it,but i guess ill suck it up for my team.

So who am i teaming up with?

Spartan the Truck Killer

This guys so tough he fought with an 18 wheeler and lived to tell the tale,part man,part machine,100% Tough.
I guess thats why hes so good with the sniper rifle in most of the games we play,using his enhanced cybernetic vision and stuff.
He is also the reason why i got ressurected so many times on shadowrun after running ahead to get some kills before the other team got annihilated.

Graf One K

This guy is just off the wall,i had to give him a warning for saying to someone congratualtions on being rich,he writes short storys about pirates who dont eat ice-cream and has managed to offend 99% of forum users with his razor sharp tongue of sarcasm,hes not one to mince his words at all.
He was awesome at the Call of Duty 4 Beta then the game came out, and now he cant shoot someone stood 2 feet infront of him on the game.

Mr Nice Guy Himself Crash

Well what can we say about Crash? Well hes one of the nicest people that you can meet on xbox live,hes a fan of the Scarlet spider and i owe him a sig with the character in from about 1962 or there abouts.
He seems to waltz through most games he plays and likes to get the most points out of each game he plays.
Ive told him to get Tetris Evolution hopefully that will mess it up for him a bit.
lol

So thats my 3 team mates,now we just have to wait for the league to start.

If you want to participate you can still sign up but you best be quick about it,just goto ConsoleHeroes.com the sign up is in the forums there.

Why Tetris Evolution Is The Suck

I woke up sunday morning and thought i would have a quick go on tetris evolution,something thats impossible with tetris i might add,so i put the disk in my 360 and away i went.
I blitzed through Marathon mode not problem at all and was having fun playing the game,unlocking all of the Tin,Bronze,Silver,Gold and Platinum Medal achievements for it in one swoop,along with the Back to Back and Back to Back and Back again,Ludicrous Speed,Rollin On Spinnas,Dirty South Style Back To Back and T-Spin Deluxe achievements.

I thought i was on a roll and unstoppable at the game so i finished my game of marathon and thought i would have a go at the Go Low mode.
So was i still on a roll?
You bet Unlocking the Bronze,Silver and Gold Medal achievements as well as the very annoying Went Low achievements with no trouble again.

So whats next Ultra Mode?
Sounds hard but ill give it ago i thought to myself,but again no problem at all Bronze,Silver and Gold Medals again with no problems,wow this is so simple,ill have the full points in no time.

Next up Cascade mode?
WTF is cascade mode? Ah well ill play it anyway,
Bronze,Silver,Gold Medals again and All about the Hamiltons Achievements no problem at all.
What about the Big Ol Cascade Achievement?
This is where my day started going bad,No matter what i could not get it and despite looking on you tube for how to do it,i was still none the wiser,after an hour of trying to get it i thought ill skip it and go back to it.

Next up Race mode,Again Bronze Silver and .......... yes i only got bronze and silver,i tried for over 2 hours for the Gold and ended up getting the A for Effort achievement where you have to play 100 games,i was actually getting really angry at a game,so angry i wanted to snap the disk.

So i decided to go get some food and go back to that mode at a later date,so i started Hotline mode,getting the Take it off the Top then the Bronze,Silver and Gold Medal achievements while wondering what the heck i was supposed to be doing in this mode,but couldn`t be bothered checking the instructions to find out.
Time dragged on and this mode seemed to last forever with the game being really slow paced and boring.

With this mode completed i thought right ill try one of my previous failures again and see if i can do it,i failed my 1st game then switched the 360 off as i could not bare to go throw it all again.

The game has beaten me and left me feeling empty after promising me what looked like some easy points,how i now despise you and your silly added on modes.

Fifa Street 3 Review

You can find an Achievement Guide for this game Here

Info on the game and screenshots are located Here





Fifa Street was born in the olden days and was made as an alternative to the hoop and stick game that was all the rage at the time.(Yes it was even more popular than marbles)Bursting onto the scene as a school yard/Back street football simulator of sorts,adding fun elements like no refs,no offside,and non stop play,with Football Superstars being there in place of Fatty Fairclough,Goggles and Smelly Tramp.
There was a few things missing though,llike your mum calling you in for you Dinner,jumpers for goal posts,the retriveal of the ball from your neighbours garden and smashing windows by accident and running off.
(The last one i still enjoy doing today)

Fifa Street was quite a fun game to play and sold so well that they made a sequel,imaginatively titled as Fifa Street 2.
This game however was a pile of cack released with akward arenas to play in which resulted in less fun being had.It felt like some of the things that made the 1st game fun was lost,it was the Matrix Reloaded all over again,which was pretty strange as the film wasnt even out then and has nothing to do with the game.


(if the last statement about the Matrix Reloaded not being released is untrue,then whoops i told a fib)

So after the poor display by Fifa Street 2 they decided the series was done with, and would never release another game in the series unless it was Fifa Street 3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10.
So it came as a big shock when EA announced that Fifa Street 3 would be released.
So lets talk about Fifa Street 3 and everything involved with the game.

From the title screen you have the usual play now mode,where you get to play the game straight away where you can jump straight in and play with the street teams you have unlocked in challenge mode or national teams.
You can choose a number of match types in this mode like Score difference where you have to lead by a set number of goals to win,Score which is a first to so many goals,Timed where you play for a set period of time,Game Breaker where only gamebreaker goals count,Five a side where its timed but without Gamebreakers and my favourite of all and a game most people in the UK have played at one time in their youth,yes people its Headers and Volleys.
(There is always some sod that used to hoof the ball onto a neighbours roof or through a window while playing Headers and Volleys in the real world)

As per normal you probably wont bother much with the exhibition mode,Sorry i forgot its Play Now so its more hip.

So what else do we have in here,well next up is the Fifa Challenge mode.

In this mode you select from the unlocked challenges for which team you will play against in a few games where you have to meet certain conditions to win,such as win by 5 goals,Headers and Volleys and other such games.

After you have picked which team to play you then pick from one of the Two teams available at the start.
Stocky which is a team of larger players featuring Gattuso,Rooney and Viduka,
or the Urchins which features a team of unknown players like the Canadian player Wu Hong and Chinese super star Zhang Hui.

Each time you beat all of a teams challenges you unlock them to play as in any of the game modes.
There are also side challenges involved called Challenge Targets where you have to win a set number of games,score so many goals and game breaker goals and headers and volleys.


You proceed through the challenge mode until you reach the end,which should take you around a few hours depending on your skill at the game,although you shouldnt really have any trouble with the default difficulty level.If you are stuggling though you can always adjust it to easy or cheeky.
(Yes i said cheeky,its EA and there child hood humour,i guess they are down with the kids of the 80`s........The 1880`s that is,i mean come on ive not heard that term in ages and when i have it normally has a word similar to Barsteward on the end)

So thats challenge mode done and dusted so with the main part of the game out of the way whats left?
Well we have the Head To Head mode.
(No not the GamerScore League a different Head To Head)

Head To Head is just the variations of games that you played in challenge mode,such as Timed,Gamebreakers and Headers and Volleys.
This mode is made for you and a friend to play only,its a shame as this would have been nice to play against the CPU,but you can do all these in Play Now against it.
(I guess there is a use for play now after all,i really feel bad for dismissing it like i did,im sorry play now mode will you please forgive me)

So 3 modes down and still more to choose from,next up is Playground Picks,which is another holla back to school day football.
(Did i say holla back? whats next lady bump?)
Playground Picks is another 2 player only mode,where one player picks a team,which the players then take it in turn to pick team members from,with Goggles being picked last due to him having asthma and passing to the other team as he cant see 2 feet in front of his face.
Again you can flick between the various game modes mentioned earlier on including Headers and Volleys.
(I friggin love Headers and Volleys can you tell or as we used to call it 60 seconds,You had to score a header or volley in that time,if you did it then changed to 50 then 40.After 10 it then goes to 2 goals in 60 Seconds,if you failed last person to touch the ball goes in goal)

After this there is the practice mode,which i dont think anyone will ever need to use and doesnt really need an explanation at all.
(Well if you want one here it is,you practice in this mode,happy you asked for it?)

After all that we then have the Xbox live mode,which is filled with all the variations of the games you have already played earlier if you have worked your way down the modes,if you have not done this however welcome to the world of wonder and mystery.
The games play the same as the other modes, but you also get to play a complete stranger who quits after you have scored 4 goals in the 1st minute of play.

Lastly is the Options mode with the usual tweaks and options,such as having the abilty to turn the Urban music off,a feature i am truly thankfull that they have included in the game as its not my cup of tea.

So whats missing from the game?

Nothing really its a pretty fun game,a few more tricks would have been nice though.
A penalty shoot out mode also would have been pretty cool,but its no biggie that its not included.

The only problem i would say the game has is the tackling,it doesnt seem to want to work some of the time,but its a minor issue at best.




AUDIO – 8
The in game sound effects are pretty good as well with people calling for the ball,not really much they could do with these but they still did a good job on them.

Graphics – 7
The graphics are pretty good for a football game and not as cartoony as some of the screenshots would have you believe,there is 7 arenas that are all the same size and shape with the difference only cosmetic,but still a quite good selection,and the characters look pretty good as well with them all looking similar to the real life counter parts.


Game play – 7
Easy to pick up and play,and enjoyable,the only problem i had was with the tackling occasionaly,but other than that i cant really fault the game,its nice to see its more like the first game than the second.

Lifespan – 6
Once you have finished the offline modes which will only take roughly 5-8 hours depending on your skill,there is only the online and occasional friends dropping by for a game to keep it going.
Personally i cant see much time being spent by me playing this on live,but if you like it you may stick with it online a lot longer.

Bottom Line – 7.5
Overall its an entertaining game and one that is easlily accessible from start to finish.
Probably the most fun Football game on the 360 at the moment and until Fifa Street 4 comes out.
(I would like to say i hate Peter Crouch,so thanks a lot EA for making me have to score 3 goals with the useless sod)

Jumper 360 Review

With most movies based films being nothing short of a cash cow and a failure in the eyes of gamers, most of the time not reflecting the film story line or just being really bad games in general with no imagination. There are some games that do break the mold though and turn out to be good games like Batman on the commodore 64 back in the day, or quite enjoyable like Surfs Up. This brings us to the new movie based game Jumper: Griffins story, which side of the fence does this game sit on, or is it neither as it balances itself teetering between the excrement and the enjoyable.

Upon loading the game you have only one selection available and that is New Game, no options for this game, its begging you to just get straight in there. So the game starts with some of the story being told via voice acting and still cartoon style frames, a story I hasten to add I want to avoid as I really want to watch the film. The voice acting is very poor to say the least and sounds like the guy recording it was really pissed off and didn’t want to be there.

The plot lines now out of the way so it’s on to the 1st level.(I say plot but I’m confuddled as it doesn’t make much sense, either that or I’m not paying attention to it) The 1st level starts and your standing in what I can only imagine is a totally different place to the one you saw a minute before. To say the graphics aren’t the best looking maybe an understatement, but we all know that graphics aren’t everything so let’s move on.

The controls are pretty easy to use; it appears this game is going to be a button basher from start to finish. They are a bit similar to the Night Crawler levels in the X-Men 3 game, but with a few changes thrown in for good measure, does it work I’m not to sure yet as I’m on the 1st level at this point, as I like to play the game as I write taking breaks to fill in the blanks, so only time will tell.

The first few sections are basically the training for the game with menus popping up every so often telling you what to do and what not to do, such as don’t attack on the red side or your head will explode or something similar to that.

All the enemy characters so far look to be the same 3 variations of characters, and the fighting system seems ok, not to bad but not exactly great either, one problem I’ve found is your view can get blocked by the scenery while fighting which causes you to lose a bit of health.

For some reason every so often it will transport you and an enemy to another area and something will happen, either an explosion or something similar in which time you will be transported to where you were before, while the enemy gets the full force of the blast or whatever happens in the drop zone you have left them at.

So far the game isn’t that impressive but I have played a lot worse, yes I am looking at you NBA Live how I hate you with a passion, the 1st level clocks in at around 10 minutes or so-so its pretty short, hopefully all the other levels aren’t this short otherwise there is going to be a lot of people gutted they bought a game they can complete in a couple of hours.

Next up its the second level, your on some mountain pass with little rooms offset from the path, its not looking to good so far as I am just doing the same thing over and over again, with no change apart from one enemy threw a grenade or something, hooray its not the same after all after about 3 rooms you enter a massive courtyard where you get to fight roughly 5 enemies at a time as they come out of the building at the end.
So I have beaten the first five what’s next I hear you ask well there is another 5 to defeat, then another and another.(Do these guys not realise if they all come at me at once they could probably kick my ass?) A short easy boss fight and its onto the next level, one good thing about this level is it took about 1 minute more than the previous one. So if you have bought this game instead of renting it then things are looking up as the last level may last a whole hour if there are about 30 levels.
(Please don’t let there be 30 levels, I am not sure id be able to cope)

I’m still unsure how to get the drop zone features to come on and keep doing it by accident, they really should explain how to do it, maybe they did and I skipped it in my attempt to play the game.

Level 3 sees me in some pyramids for reasons I am not sure of, maybe I am looking for pirate treasure, and you know how sneaky those guys can be. I’m chasing some bad guy while enemies keep blocking my way and closing doors that magically open once they have been defeated just like in real life. Surprise, surprise its exactly the same as the last few levels only this time you fight against two guys at the end instead of the one, this level is actually slightly harder than the last two with the bosses being a bit of a pain in the ass.

Level 4 and in terms of gameplay nothing has changed just more generic button mashing. I am really struggling to remain open minded now, as it’s just the same thing over and over again, but not in an enjoyable way, this is now getting tedious. The teleportation doesn’t come into play at all in the game apart from places where you have to do it to proceed, this is looking a rental at best four levels in and I have not got anything to say.

There is nothing much to say about level 5 either as its just more of the same, the only exception this time the boss seems to have way to much energy, and you can’t actually beat him, which seems stupid but there you go, you also visit levels you have already played on as well, I guess they were saving the budget for a decent game.

Now onto level 6, at least I think its level 6 I stopped counting as it just all seems to blur into one large pile of nonsense, this sees you inside the building in the courtyard from earlier on in the game, you just hack your way up until the boss, who I may as well add is a lot easier to beat than the previous one, then that’s your lot. Once beaten you can replay the entire game from the continue option on the main screen with the last weapon in the game if you picked it up, if you wish to, all though you will probably fight the urge to unless you want the full 1000 achievement points.

AUDIO – 5
The voice acting was bad,the music was ok and the sound effects were of your average standard.

Graphics – 4
Seen worse,but also seen a lot better 2 years ago,Looks a lot like an original xbox game with a bit of a polish.

Game play –6
The controls while working ok,sometimes seem down to luck and i still not know how the drop zone thing actually works.
Very linear to say the least and not much to keep you playing apart from wanting to get the game finished.

Lifespan – 5
Once you have played it once,there isnt really much reason to go back through it and play it again.
If your going to get this rent it,not worth buying in my honest opinion,in my lying opinion buy 15 copies of it as its awesome.

Bottom Line – 5
I really tried to like this game and be as impartial as i could,but this is your usual lackluster game of a movie and it just doesn`t cut the mustard.
If you want to play i stress again rent it,buying it would be a rather large mistake.

Burnout Rant

I originally posted this on Console Heroes on my blog there,it also got linked to the burnout forums on xbox live as well.
Useful Links for the game

Game Info

Achievement Guide




Hey EA
Remember Dj Stryker from Burnout Takedown,remember how friggin annoying he was?

Now think why some smug annoying twat wasnt included in revenge spouting cack inbetween races,to say it was great that you didnt have to listen to it is an understatement.
So what do you do with Paradise?
You give us Dj ataomica or whatever hes called,who after we fail a burning route tells us how shit we are,before we travel all the way back across the map to restart it as you didnt include a retry feature.

Oh but wait we dont need a retry feature as theres always some race or something we can do to get over there.
Yes unless you have already done all the events in an area then you spend all friggin day driving from 1 side of the map to another to start an event.
Oh the joy of repeatedly travelling from one side of the map to the other over and over again.
We do need a retry feature in fact we fucking demand one.
Can it get any better than this?

Wait it can,cool lets move onto the onlince challenges ,we get an achievement for doing 25 events or something,1 for doing 2 complete blocks of challenges and another for doing 250 challenges.
So what do you get for doing all 350 Challenges and spending ages trying to get them with people quitting or getting dropped from servers just as your about to do them?
A new car? Special paints jobs for your cars? An extra bit on the map? Infinite boost?

What none of those so what do we get for doing all 350 challenges then?

Oh wait i remember now,i do believe its friggin nothing at all.
With this being the case why didnt you just limit it to 6 player challenges instead of keeping people guessing what they will get.
To say im dissapointed is an understatement,you have let all the people that did all the challenges down with this.

I believe Graf one k said it best when he said you should win an award for having the shittest servers going,with random player drops,disconnections and other problems.
Sort your servers out for fucks sake.

Wow i got a takedown let me see it,thats cool,i got another show me that one as well,and another i really want to see this and the next 20 or so each time they happen,please dont let me turn the takedown camera off as i really like seeing the same thing over and over again,oh wait i dont i know ill turn them off in the options,what do you mean i cant? so i have to do each road rage event seeing every single takedown,oh what a fantastic thing to make me sit through.

I have to hit this jump at a certain speed to do a barrel roll off it and through the fuselage suspended in mid air?
Not a problem ill go flat out and boost that will do it,no to fast damn.
I know ill go slower and boost at the last few seconds before the jump,nope to slow damn.
I know ill look at the speedo so i can work out exactly how fast i have to go.
Oh wait i cant can i as there isnt one in the game so we have to guess,and wait round for 40 minutes for 2 people to jump through the friggin hoop,unless they quit after 30 minutes then we have to get someone else in and start all over,how friggin wonderful.

Find 120 Billboards and 400 smashes?
WTF if i want to go round collecting everything i would play friggin Pokemon,i bought burnout for racing,you know that thing that everyone did online in burnout takedown and revenge.

Thats another thing why dont people do races in Burnout Paradise?
Ill tell you why because your point to point races suck, you could have thrown up some barriers and had a near enough set route with a few short-cuts for people to follow,but no you left it open so people can get lost easily and quit races.
All you had to do was add some barriers here and there and call it old school racing or some crap like that.
Congratulations you ruined the part that most people liked doing the most.

1 last thing,why have a racing track in the game with no races happening there?
Whats the friggin point in it being there,use your brains.

Despite all of this i do actually like Paradise,its just a shame its more of a weekend away in Blackpool rather than 2 weeks in Barbados.

Rant Over..............next game please