Tuesday, 26 February 2008

MySpace Bulletins

As i keep the Console Heroes MySpace in check, i sometimes take a look at the bulletins on there to see many written by Snyper7X advertising our site and many entertaining other bulletins,which isnt a problem at all.

Heres where my problem lies with it all,inbetween all Snypers there are quite a few others,some are funny like the ones from Queens of the Pwnage,(you should really check their reviews out as they are quite entertaining adding in the awesome british humour to each review)to messages from Epics own Cliffy B and the going on`s over at Epic and whats happening with Gears 2.
But tucked away inbetween these are the real pain in the ass things that i hate,chain mail.

You know the type of thing, where it says you must send this message to 20 other people in the next 10 minutes or your cat will explode and you will accidently miss the toilet at 5 am and end up pissing on your foot.
Well guess what ladies,us men do every so often indeed piss on our feet at 5 am by accident,our junks not awake at that time so it sprays where it wants to occasionaly,which is why if your also up at that time you can hear us say for fucks sake not again,(who am i kidding it happens most of the day,not just at 5am)
so chain mail isnt going to do anything else to stop us from doing this.
They should make it something like.............
if you send this to 50 people in the next 10 minutes you wont have any toilet accidents for 2 weeks,you will also win £30 on the fruit machine in the pub,and your wife/girlfriend wont nag you while you try and watch the football.

This would be the most successful chain mail letter with men sending it everywhere,but the fact is these things shouldnt exist,spamming people and sending them useless cack with threats of what will happen if they dont resend it to more people is wrong.

Some people believe this garbage,which results in even more people getting spammed by the shit.

So lets stop spreading this cack once and for all,if you get one ignore it i dont want to waste my time reading the same cack over and over again,i want the funny storys,amusing anecdotes,messages saying hi look at my boobs and all the great stuff thats out there.

Monday, 25 February 2008

Flea In The Head 2 Head GamerScore League

Well it appears im going to be entering season 3 of the Head 2 Head GamerScore League,i never thought i would enter into it as it sort of spawned from me saying no to CC99999 and Trip299`s idea on how i should run the GamerScore League i came up with.
I saw it as a slap in the face originally,and was pretty annoyed about it all,but meh if you can take someones idea and improve it surely that cant be a bad thing and they improved on it a heck of a lot.

Im actually looking forward to it now though,especially as i dont have to update the scores and keep track of all the players,which was a major pain in the ass to say the least.

So how does it work?
Well for 4 days your team competes against another getting as much gamerscore as they can,and it goes on your win loss record,Then the week later you do the same against a different team,until all teams have played each other in their respective divisions.
Then the playoffs start,how do these work?
I have no idea.

There is also some prizes this time around including a 8gb Zune for the MVP and a game for each member of the winning team.

With the start date the 6th March ive got to resist playing any games i dont have points in so i can score as much as possible for my team,it also means i have to play Jumper again on my normal tag and not my review tag,im dredding having to replay it,but i guess ill suck it up for my team.

So who am i teaming up with?

Spartan the Truck Killer

This guys so tough he fought with an 18 wheeler and lived to tell the tale,part man,part machine,100% Tough.
I guess thats why hes so good with the sniper rifle in most of the games we play,using his enhanced cybernetic vision and stuff.
He is also the reason why i got ressurected so many times on shadowrun after running ahead to get some kills before the other team got annihilated.

Graf One K

This guy is just off the wall,i had to give him a warning for saying to someone congratualtions on being rich,he writes short storys about pirates who dont eat ice-cream and has managed to offend 99% of forum users with his razor sharp tongue of sarcasm,hes not one to mince his words at all.
He was awesome at the Call of Duty 4 Beta then the game came out, and now he cant shoot someone stood 2 feet infront of him on the game.

Mr Nice Guy Himself Crash

Well what can we say about Crash? Well hes one of the nicest people that you can meet on xbox live,hes a fan of the Scarlet spider and i owe him a sig with the character in from about 1962 or there abouts.
He seems to waltz through most games he plays and likes to get the most points out of each game he plays.
Ive told him to get Tetris Evolution hopefully that will mess it up for him a bit.
lol

So thats my 3 team mates,now we just have to wait for the league to start.

If you want to participate you can still sign up but you best be quick about it,just goto ConsoleHeroes.com the sign up is in the forums there.

Why Tetris Evolution Is The Suck



I woke up sunday morning and thought i would have a quick go on tetris evolution,something thats impossible with tetris i might add,so i put the disk in my 360 and away i went.
I blitzed through Marathon mode not problem at all and was having fun playing the game,unlocking all of the Tin,Bronze,Silver,Gold and Platinum Medal achievements for it in one swoop,along with the Back to Back and Back to Back and Back again,Ludicrous Speed,Rollin On Spinnas,Dirty South Style Back To Back and T-Spin Deluxe achievements.

I thought i was on a roll and unstoppable at the game so i finished my game of marathon and thought i would have a go at the Go Low mode.
So was i still on a roll?
You bet Unlocking the Bronze,Silver and Gold Medal achievements as well as the very annoying Went Low achievements with no trouble again.

So whats next Ultra Mode?
Sounds hard but ill give it ago i thought to myself,but again no problem at all Bronze,Silver and Gold Medals again with no problems,wow this is so simple,ill have the full points in no time.

Next up Cascade mode?
WTF is cascade mode? Ah well ill play it anyway,
Bronze,Silver,Gold Medals again and All about the Hamiltons Achievements no problem at all.
What about the Big Ol Cascade Achievement?
This is where my day started going bad,No matter what i could not get it and despite looking on you tube for how to do it,i was still none the wiser,after an hour of trying to get it i thought ill skip it and go back to it.

Next up Race mode,Again Bronze Silver and .......... yes i only got bronze and silver,i tried for over 2 hours for the Gold and ended up getting the A for Effort achievement where you have to play 100 games,i was actually getting really angry at a game,so angry i wanted to snap the disk.

So i decided to go get some food and go back to that mode at a later date,so i started Hotline mode,getting the Take it off the Top then the Bronze,Silver and Gold Medal achievements while wondering what the heck i was supposed to be doing in this mode,but couldn`t be bothered checking the instructions to find out.
Time dragged on and this mode seemed to last forever with the game being really slow paced and boring.

With this mode completed i thought right ill try one of my previous failures again and see if i can do it,i failed my 1st game then switched the 360 off as i could not bare to go throw it all again.

The game has beaten me and left me feeling empty after promising me what looked like some easy points,how i now despise you and your silly added on modes.

Fifa Street 3 Review

You can find an Achievement Guide for this game Here

Info on the game and screenshots are located Here





Fifa Street was born in the olden days and was made as an alternative to the hoop and stick game that was all the rage at the time.(Yes it was even more popular than marbles)Bursting onto the scene as a school yard/Back street football simulator of sorts,adding fun elements like no refs,no offside,and non stop play,with Football Superstars being there in place of Fatty Fairclough,Goggles and Smelly Tramp.
There was a few things missing though,llike your mum calling you in for you Dinner,jumpers for goal posts,the retriveal of the ball from your neighbours garden and smashing windows by accident and running off.
(The last one i still enjoy doing today)

Fifa Street was quite a fun game to play and sold so well that they made a sequel,imaginatively titled as Fifa Street 2.
This game however was a pile of cack released with akward arenas to play in which resulted in less fun being had.It felt like some of the things that made the 1st game fun was lost,it was the Matrix Reloaded all over again,which was pretty strange as the film wasnt even out then and has nothing to do with the game.


(if the last statement about the Matrix Reloaded not being released is untrue,then whoops i told a fib)

So after the poor display by Fifa Street 2 they decided the series was done with, and would never release another game in the series unless it was Fifa Street 3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10.
So it came as a big shock when EA announced that Fifa Street 3 would be released.
So lets talk about Fifa Street 3 and everything involved with the game.

From the title screen you have the usual play now mode,where you get to play the game straight away where you can jump straight in and play with the street teams you have unlocked in challenge mode or national teams.
You can choose a number of match types in this mode like Score difference where you have to lead by a set number of goals to win,Score which is a first to so many goals,Timed where you play for a set period of time,Game Breaker where only gamebreaker goals count,Five a side where its timed but without Gamebreakers and my favourite of all and a game most people in the UK have played at one time in their youth,yes people its Headers and Volleys.
(There is always some sod that used to hoof the ball onto a neighbours roof or through a window while playing Headers and Volleys in the real world)

As per normal you probably wont bother much with the exhibition mode,Sorry i forgot its Play Now so its more hip.

So what else do we have in here,well next up is the Fifa Challenge mode.

In this mode you select from the unlocked challenges for which team you will play against in a few games where you have to meet certain conditions to win,such as win by 5 goals,Headers and Volleys and other such games.

After you have picked which team to play you then pick from one of the Two teams available at the start.
Stocky which is a team of larger players featuring Gattuso,Rooney and Viduka,
or the Urchins which features a team of unknown players like the Canadian player Wu Hong and Chinese super star Zhang Hui.

Each time you beat all of a teams challenges you unlock them to play as in any of the game modes.
There are also side challenges involved called Challenge Targets where you have to win a set number of games,score so many goals and game breaker goals and headers and volleys.


You proceed through the challenge mode until you reach the end,which should take you around a few hours depending on your skill at the game,although you shouldnt really have any trouble with the default difficulty level.If you are stuggling though you can always adjust it to easy or cheeky.
(Yes i said cheeky,its EA and there child hood humour,i guess they are down with the kids of the 80`s........The 1880`s that is,i mean come on ive not heard that term in ages and when i have it normally has a word similar to Barsteward on the end)

So thats challenge mode done and dusted so with the main part of the game out of the way whats left?
Well we have the Head To Head mode.
(No not the GamerScore League a different Head To Head)

Head To Head is just the variations of games that you played in challenge mode,such as Timed,Gamebreakers and Headers and Volleys.
This mode is made for you and a friend to play only,its a shame as this would have been nice to play against the CPU,but you can do all these in Play Now against it.
(I guess there is a use for play now after all,i really feel bad for dismissing it like i did,im sorry play now mode will you please forgive me)

So 3 modes down and still more to choose from,next up is Playground Picks,which is another holla back to school day football.
(Did i say holla back? whats next lady bump?)
Playground Picks is another 2 player only mode,where one player picks a team,which the players then take it in turn to pick team members from,with Goggles being picked last due to him having asthma and passing to the other team as he cant see 2 feet in front of his face.
Again you can flick between the various game modes mentioned earlier on including Headers and Volleys.
(I friggin love Headers and Volleys can you tell or as we used to call it 60 seconds,You had to score a header or volley in that time,if you did it then changed to 50 then 40.After 10 it then goes to 2 goals in 60 Seconds,if you failed last person to touch the ball goes in goal)

After this there is the practice mode,which i dont think anyone will ever need to use and doesnt really need an explanation at all.
(Well if you want one here it is,you practice in this mode,happy you asked for it?)

After all that we then have the Xbox live mode,which is filled with all the variations of the games you have already played earlier if you have worked your way down the modes,if you have not done this however welcome to the world of wonder and mystery.
The games play the same as the other modes, but you also get to play a complete stranger who quits after you have scored 4 goals in the 1st minute of play.

Lastly is the Options mode with the usual tweaks and options,such as having the abilty to turn the Urban music off,a feature i am truly thankfull that they have included in the game as its not my cup of tea.

So whats missing from the game?

Nothing really its a pretty fun game,a few more tricks would have been nice though.
A penalty shoot out mode also would have been pretty cool,but its no biggie that its not included.

The only problem i would say the game has is the tackling,it doesnt seem to want to work some of the time,but its a minor issue at best.




AUDIO – 8
The in game sound effects are pretty good as well with people calling for the ball,not really much they could do with these but they still did a good job on them.

Graphics – 7
The graphics are pretty good for a football game and not as cartoony as some of the screenshots would have you believe,there is 7 arenas that are all the same size and shape with the difference only cosmetic,but still a quite good selection,and the characters look pretty good as well with them all looking similar to the real life counter parts.


Game play – 7
Easy to pick up and play,and enjoyable,the only problem i had was with the tackling occasionaly,but other than that i cant really fault the game,its nice to see its more like the first game than the second.

Lifespan – 6
Once you have finished the offline modes which will only take roughly 5-8 hours depending on your skill,there is only the online and occasional friends dropping by for a game to keep it going.
Personally i cant see much time being spent by me playing this on live,but if you like it you may stick with it online a lot longer.

Bottom Line – 7.5
Overall its an entertaining game and one that is easlily accessible from start to finish.
Probably the most fun Football game on the 360 at the moment and until Fifa Street 4 comes out.
(I would like to say i hate Peter Crouch,so thanks a lot EA for making me have to score 3 goals with the useless sod)


Jumper 360 Review




With most movies based films being nothing short of a cash cow and a failure in the eyes of gamers, most of the time not reflecting the film story line or just being really bad games in general with no imagination. There are some games that do break the mold though and turn out to be good games like Batman on the commodore 64 back in the day, or quite enjoyable like Surfs Up. This brings us to the new movie based game Jumper: Griffins story, which side of the fence does this game sit on, or is it neither as it balances itself teetering between the excrement and the enjoyable.

Upon loading the game you have only one selection available and that is New Game, no options for this game, its begging you to just get straight in there. So the game starts with some of the story being told via voice acting and still cartoon style frames, a story I hasten to add I want to avoid as I really want to watch the film. The voice acting is very poor to say the least and sounds like the guy recording it was really pissed off and didn’t want to be there.

The plot lines now out of the way so it’s on to the 1st level.(I say plot but I’m confuddled as it doesn’t make much sense, either that or I’m not paying attention to it) The 1st level starts and your standing in what I can only imagine is a totally different place to the one you saw a minute before. To say the graphics aren’t the best looking maybe an understatement, but we all know that graphics aren’t everything so let’s move on.

The controls are pretty easy to use; it appears this game is going to be a button basher from start to finish. They are a bit similar to the Night Crawler levels in the X-Men 3 game, but with a few changes thrown in for good measure, does it work I’m not to sure yet as I’m on the 1st level at this point, as I like to play the game as I write taking breaks to fill in the blanks, so only time will tell.

The first few sections are basically the training for the game with menus popping up every so often telling you what to do and what not to do, such as don’t attack on the red side or your head will explode or something similar to that.

All the enemy characters so far look to be the same 3 variations of characters, and the fighting system seems ok, not to bad but not exactly great either, one problem I’ve found is your view can get blocked by the scenery while fighting which causes you to lose a bit of health.

For some reason every so often it will transport you and an enemy to another area and something will happen, either an explosion or something similar in which time you will be transported to where you were before, while the enemy gets the full force of the blast or whatever happens in the drop zone you have left them at.

So far the game isn’t that impressive but I have played a lot worse, yes I am looking at you NBA Live how I hate you with a passion, the 1st level clocks in at around 10 minutes or so-so its pretty short, hopefully all the other levels aren’t this short otherwise there is going to be a lot of people gutted they bought a game they can complete in a couple of hours.

Next up its the second level, your on some mountain pass with little rooms offset from the path, its not looking to good so far as I am just doing the same thing over and over again, with no change apart from one enemy threw a grenade or something, hooray its not the same after all after about 3 rooms you enter a massive courtyard where you get to fight roughly 5 enemies at a time as they come out of the building at the end.
So I have beaten the first five what’s next I hear you ask well there is another 5 to defeat, then another and another.(Do these guys not realise if they all come at me at once they could probably kick my ass?) A short easy boss fight and its onto the next level, one good thing about this level is it took about 1 minute more than the previous one. So if you have bought this game instead of renting it then things are looking up as the last level may last a whole hour if there are about 30 levels.
(Please don’t let there be 30 levels, I am not sure id be able to cope)

I’m still unsure how to get the drop zone features to come on and keep doing it by accident, they really should explain how to do it, maybe they did and I skipped it in my attempt to play the game.

Level 3 sees me in some pyramids for reasons I am not sure of, maybe I am looking for pirate treasure, and you know how sneaky those guys can be. I’m chasing some bad guy while enemies keep blocking my way and closing doors that magically open once they have been defeated just like in real life. Surprise, surprise its exactly the same as the last few levels only this time you fight against two guys at the end instead of the one, this level is actually slightly harder than the last two with the bosses being a bit of a pain in the ass.

Level 4 and in terms of gameplay nothing has changed just more generic button mashing. I am really struggling to remain open minded now, as it’s just the same thing over and over again, but not in an enjoyable way, this is now getting tedious. The teleportation doesn’t come into play at all in the game apart from places where you have to do it to proceed, this is looking a rental at best four levels in and I have not got anything to say.

There is nothing much to say about level 5 either as its just more of the same, the only exception this time the boss seems to have way to much energy, and you can’t actually beat him, which seems stupid but there you go, you also visit levels you have already played on as well, I guess they were saving the budget for a decent game.

Now onto level 6, at least I think its level 6 I stopped counting as it just all seems to blur into one large pile of nonsense, this sees you inside the building in the courtyard from earlier on in the game, you just hack your way up until the boss, who I may as well add is a lot easier to beat than the previous one, then that’s your lot. Once beaten you can replay the entire game from the continue option on the main screen with the last weapon in the game if you picked it up, if you wish to, all though you will probably fight the urge to unless you want the full 1000 achievement points.

AUDIO – 5
The voice acting was bad,the music was ok and the sound effects were of your average standard.

Graphics – 4
Seen worse,but also seen a lot better 2 years ago,Looks a lot like an original xbox game with a bit of a polish.

Game play –6
The controls while working ok,sometimes seem down to luck and i still not know how the drop zone thing actually works.
Very linear to say the least and not much to keep you playing apart from wanting to get the game finished.

Lifespan – 5
Once you have played it once,there isnt really much reason to go back through it and play it again.
If your going to get this rent it,not worth buying in my honest opinion,in my lying opinion buy 15 copies of it as its awesome.

Bottom Line – 5
I really tried to like this game and be as impartial as i could,but this is your usual lackluster game of a movie and it just doesn`t cut the mustard.
If you want to play i stress again rent it,buying it would be a rather large mistake.

The NIU Shooting

Story from Kotaku.Com
It's Virginia Tech all over again! Florida attorney Jack Thompson has appeared on Fox News this morning as a "School Shooting Expert", blaming 27-year-old sociology grad Steven Kazmierczak's rampage yesterday at Northern Illinois University on - you guessed it - video games like Counter-Strike. Kazmierczak, identified only this morning, walked onto a lecture hall stage dressed in black and opened fire on a crowded science class, killing six students before taking his own life. As always, no evidence has been found linking Kazmierczak to video games, Counter-Strike or otherwise, but Thompson never let a lack of evidence keep him from shooting off his mouth. I imagine his ears perk up like a dog hearing its master's voice the moment a terrible tragedy like this occurs. We're currently looking into Kazmierczak to see if there is any sort of video game connection. We'll keep you posted.


Well here we go again,now where to start with this........

Fox News is currently on a game hating kick as its affecting their revenue,with less people watching tv and playing games instead so they are losing advertising deals as gaming becomes more mainstream all the time.
So its little surprise that they are involved in all this,so they probably thought to themselves who else hates videogames that we can get on to cover the story,Jack Thompson probably the most well known game hater around.

How Thompson can be a School Shooting Expert ill never know,last i checked he was a lawyer,surely there would be a lot better people to choose to be an analyst than him,heck ive never heard about him shooting up any schools so how the fuck can he be an expert on the matter?

Each time he opens his mouth shit comes out,with inaccuracies and flat out lies with not much research done on his part at all.

Thompson and Fox news seems like a match made for each other.

Heres some intresting questions for you Jack.......

How many people play videogames then dont go out and kill people?

Did Hitler play Red Alert 2 then think i know ill invade everywhere?

How far on Tenchu did Jack the Ripper get?

Do you not think the main problem is that people in America can get guns so easily?

You can look all through history and find murderers,music was blamed for making people kill themselves,some people are just fucked in the head,or have shitty upbringings and other stuff happen in their lives.

Now onto the story.....
its a shame that this happened at all,and the death of a murderer and 6 innocent peoples lives shouldnt be tarnished by the fact that some people have their own agenda, and try using stuff like this to further their cause.
There has been no proof to date what so ever that this murderer played any videogames at all,to claim he has without proof is just bullshit.

Who knows what has really happened,maybe he had personal problems and couldnt take it anymore,he could have been bullied,he could have been a whack job,the pressure of failing his tests and having to redo them again could have made him snap,there can be lots of reasons why he did this.

Until theres any proof about what happened people shouldnt speculate about it all,So in closing wait for the facts and treat the people who lost lives and their relatives with some respect instead of making up bullshit you cant prove.

My condolences go out to all the familys and friends who have lost loved ones in this terrible event.

Burnout Rant

I originally posted this on Console Heroes on my blog there,it also got linked to the burnout forums on xbox live as well.
Useful Links for the game

Game Info

Achievement Guide




Hey EA
Remember Dj Stryker from Burnout Takedown,remember how friggin annoying he was?

Now think why some smug annoying twat wasnt included in revenge spouting cack inbetween races,to say it was great that you didnt have to listen to it is an understatement.
So what do you do with Paradise?
You give us Dj ataomica or whatever hes called,who after we fail a burning route tells us how shit we are,before we travel all the way back across the map to restart it as you didnt include a retry feature.

Oh but wait we dont need a retry feature as theres always some race or something we can do to get over there.
Yes unless you have already done all the events in an area then you spend all friggin day driving from 1 side of the map to another to start an event.
Oh the joy of repeatedly travelling from one side of the map to the other over and over again.
We do need a retry feature in fact we fucking demand one.
Can it get any better than this?

Wait it can,cool lets move onto the onlince challenges ,we get an achievement for doing 25 events or something,1 for doing 2 complete blocks of challenges and another for doing 250 challenges.
So what do you get for doing all 350 Challenges and spending ages trying to get them with people quitting or getting dropped from servers just as your about to do them?
A new car? Special paints jobs for your cars? An extra bit on the map? Infinite boost?

What none of those so what do we get for doing all 350 challenges then?

Oh wait i remember now,i do believe its friggin nothing at all.
With this being the case why didnt you just limit it to 6 player challenges instead of keeping people guessing what they will get.
To say im dissapointed is an understatement,you have let all the people that did all the challenges down with this.

I believe Graf one k said it best when he said you should win an award for having the shittest servers going,with random player drops,disconnections and other problems.
Sort your servers out for fucks sake.

Wow i got a takedown let me see it,thats cool,i got another show me that one as well,and another i really want to see this and the next 20 or so each time they happen,please dont let me turn the takedown camera off as i really like seeing the same thing over and over again,oh wait i dont i know ill turn them off in the options,what do you mean i cant? so i have to do each road rage event seeing every single takedown,oh what a fantastic thing to make me sit through.

I have to hit this jump at a certain speed to do a barrel roll off it and through the fuselage suspended in mid air?
Not a problem ill go flat out and boost that will do it,no to fast damn.
I know ill go slower and boost at the last few seconds before the jump,nope to slow damn.
I know ill look at the speedo so i can work out exactly how fast i have to go.
Oh wait i cant can i as there isnt one in the game so we have to guess,and wait round for 40 minutes for 2 people to jump through the friggin hoop,unless they quit after 30 minutes then we have to get someone else in and start all over,how friggin wonderful.

Find 120 Billboards and 400 smashes?
WTF if i want to go round collecting everything i would play friggin Pokemon,i bought burnout for racing,you know that thing that everyone did online in burnout takedown and revenge.

Thats another thing why dont people do races in Burnout Paradise?
Ill tell you why because your point to point races suck, you could have thrown up some barriers and had a near enough set route with a few short-cuts for people to follow,but no you left it open so people can get lost easily and quit races.
All you had to do was add some barriers here and there and call it old school racing or some crap like that.
Congratulations you ruined the part that most people liked doing the most.

1 last thing,why have a racing track in the game with no races happening there?
Whats the friggin point in it being there,use your brains.

Despite all of this i do actually like Paradise,its just a shame its more of a weekend away in Blackpool rather than 2 weeks in Barbados.

Rant Over..............next game please