I Want To Play A Game!!!!

Well at the moment Flea isn't a happy fellow, you see at the moment that shitty thing called real life has swooped in and fucked up my gaming schedule. As a result I have hardly had anytime to play anything at all that I want to, and lets face it I love to play games more than a cop likes Dunkin Donuts. The worst thing is that I have got more in the last 2 weeks than I have done in about 3 months, and I am not just talking about 360 games.

I think I have purchased around 15 games, in fact what here is what I have gotten or am waiting to arrive in the next few days.

DS Games

• Disagea DS
• Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure
• Henry Hatsworth In The Puzzling Adventure
• Final Fantasy Tactics A2

Wii Games

• Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Echoes of Time
• Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo's Dungeon

PS2 Games

• Burnout Domintaor
• Persona 4

PC Game

• The Last Remnant (Thanks Square Enix for sending me this even though I reviewed the 360 version already.)
  

360 Games

• Hour of Victory
• Fusion Frenzy 2
• Vampire Rain
• Alone In The Dark
• Fable II
• WarTech Senko No Ronde
• F.E.A.R. Files
• Xbox Live Arcade Compilation Disc
• Xbox Live Arcade Unplugged Volume 1
• The Grid
• Final Fantasy XI Wings Of The Goddess
• Warriors Orochi (Just because I got sick of having the promo version)
• Warriors Orochi 2 (Same with this one as well)
• Overlord
• Lego Indiana Jones/Kung Fu Panda

DS Game Of The Year? It's a Contender!

You see that by not actually playing games I have ended up going insane and getting more than I would buy, as a result my overdraft will be taking a hammering to say the least for a few weeks. Some of these I got pretty good deals on with Fusion Frenzy 2 and Unplugged Arcade Vol 1 coming as part of a set of 5 games that I bought brand new and sealed for £17. (The others were PGR 3, Viva Pinata and Kameo which my son now has claimed.)

I also nearly added a few more games to the list up until I managed to stop myself from buying them. The scary thing is I haven't just left it at games either as I also picked up some Anime DVDs as well, as I just had to buy them or the world would end. I really wish I would have kept on to the money which I should have been using for other stuff like food. It would have also stopped the postman giving me evils and muttering as he carried the games to my house. (I doubt your reading this but you get paid to deliver mail so just fucking do your job wanker!)

If it says Final Fantasy I will buy it!

One thing is for certain with my 3 Ghost In The Shell movies, S.A.C. 2nd gig, other random Anime and the games I should have no problem sitting on my arse and relaxing when I get chance. Let's face it we all have to go crazy and have a splurge every now and then, it's just a shame I will be paying for mine for quite some time to come.

Oh and about the podcast were sorry we haven't done it yet to make up for the one that got screwed up, my schedule has been hectic to say the least. We will be recording one sometime Sunday this week so expect that to be available soon.

76 Xbox Live Arcade Games

The other day I decided to make an excel document of all my 360 games, as a result I found out I own about 76 arcade games. Out of these arcade games I would say I have enjoyed playing between 8-10 of them at the most, while most of these have been nothing but impulse purchases and normally leave me disappointed that I bought them.

Sure I do have some great games like Castle Crashers and er........ some others, but I think I am like most people that buy these games and play them for 10 minutes then forget about. Pushing them further and further down my last played list until they are a million miles from my mind. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I actually had a physical box that can sit on my shelf and remind me that I own the game. At least that way when I look at my shelves for a game to play I can see one of them and think "fuck it I may as well play that", but alas they don't come boxed so I forget about them.

It's not really big, they are just midgets!

It is pretty amazing how much we 360 gamers actually spend on crappy games just because they are new without even trying the trial mode first. If we say that each of my games cost 400 points (Even though the majority of them are 800 point games) it works out that I have used 30400 points, that works out at over £260 ($500) with the real figure being probably double that. Then we have all the other crap I have bought like map packs and other DLC, all on stuff I can't hold in my hand.

I like owning games and stuff I can hold in my hand, I hate buying all this digital media bullshit. When you buy a cd you normally flick through the booklet as you listen to it for the first time, even though you know it contains nothing of interest. If I go to town to buy a new game I normally sit on the bus and look at the booklet on the way back home, it fills the time and I find some of them pretty interesting.

Two people fighting T-Hawk? Is this the IK+ Edition?

This was supposed to be a blog about buying Arcade games, yet it has turned into me realising that I hate how things are moving more and more into digital downloads. It makes me sad to think that not to far in the future all games, film and music will only be available in this form. I like shitty box art and crappy booklets and will miss them when they are no longer packaged with games. The future sucks I guess I should go and live in the past. :(

No Digidi On Podcast Heroes???

Two weeks ago we remade the podcast that we originally recorded the week before after a technical hitch,(Our recording software decided to give us a 2 fingered salute.) As a result we had talked about everything already and the redo came off rather flat and uninspired. Something that Code Digidi, Cody and myself all felt rather shitty about, and something that we didn't want to happen again.

With the podcast being a fortnightly recording (Every 2 weeks to you Americans that don't know what a fortnight is) we should have recorded the podcast on Sunday, but due to scheduling problems Code Digidi couldn't make it as he was barbecuing his dad or something. (Apparently he tastes like chicken) So me and Cody decided to record it on Monday, But unfortunately Code was working so couldn't take part. (It also meant all my jokes about him getting drilled in the mouth going to waste.)

Have you seen Code Digidi?

As a result we slightly over ran by about 5-10 minutes over the planned amount of time, as Code wasn't there to type hurry up it is nearly time to finish. On the whole though the recording went pretty well, at least I think so but I could be wrong. We did seem to cover the points we made, it is just a shame that the trio ended up being a duo for just this week only.

I got asked if we do it all on the fly and the answer is heck no, since we restarted I make a list of possible points and send them to Digidi and Cody. Then they look at them and send them back as a reply to me and the other one, adding in any stuff that they want to talk about. (Or what crap to remove) So basically that is how we do it, We cheat!

Pictured above Cody, Flea and Code Digidi

Here is this weeks cheat sheet if your really that bothered.

1. After moaning about R-Type being 1200 points, Watchmen comes out this Wednesday at 1600 points.

Thoughts on the game news like Lost Planet 2, Remake of Death to Rights, PSP games coming (Little Big Planet, Motorstorm and Buzz)

Microsoft's Deal of the week returning.
(This week its Ninja Gaiden 2's ‘Mission Mode’ which is now 560 points instead of the usual 800points)

2. What we have been playing this week.

3. Killzone 2 (is Cody really impressed with it, and does it live up to the hype?)

3.5. Dawn of War II and Windows Live Achievements.

4. Big Games due for release in the upcoming weeks
Resident Evil limited edition Red Console being ugly as fuck.

Maybe make a joke how the Mac is getting Doom 3 next week.

5. Talk about Street Fighter 4 impressions

6. GTA IV DLC

7. Tomb raider DLC (I spoke to X3no about it)

8. XBLA game trials that don't actually let you play the game to get a feel for it. (Minesweeper flags and SF" THD Remix as examples)

9. Completion races

Just started or starting...........

Halo Wars
Eat Lead: Return of Matt Hazard
Resident Evil 5
Trivial Pursuit
WWE Legends Of Wrestlemania Completion Race

Ones about to end

Sonic Genisis Collection
Shellshock 2
Onechanbara
F.E.A.R. 2

10. Why do we still have region protection on some games? (Star Ocean isn't released until the end of April)

11. Old games from our youth that we would like to see a sequel to and why. (General bullshit and banter)

12. Question for the gamers out there. (Maybe something like what year does the game stryder take place in)

14. Shout outs before Chewy does his thing.

The podcast should be up sometime Tuesday, probably mid afternoon sometime. You can find it here if you want to give it a listen, it will be Episode 10. Also apologies to Botafogo for my last comment. (Now he has to listen to see what I said :p)

Daft Bitch Buys Bioshock

Games have ratings for a reason, the main reason is to stop kids playing games that are unsuitable for them by having a clear certificate on them to warn parents. I use these age ratings to help me decide what my son can and can't play, as do quite a lot of other parents that care about their childs well being.

One thing that really annoys me is people that don't pay any attention to the ratings and think every game is suitable, after all they are only games so can't feature anything unsuitable. These same people wouldn't let their kids watch the latest block buster film that has a mature or 18 certificate, yet they treat games so differently.

I have always played the majority of games that are classed as unsuitable for my son, and then decide if they are something that I wouldn't mind him playing or not. I think I have done a pretty good job as he has grown up as a person and as a gamer, steering him towards fun games while allowing him to play the odd game that is considered unsuitable for him that I think is ok. Games such as Soul Calibur 4 (Rated 12) WWE Smackdown Vs Raw (Rated 15) Kameo (Rated 12) and Eragon (Rated 12)among some of them. There is a lot worse things that can be seen on TV prewatershed than in any of those games, however I draw the line at letting him play Gears of War or anything similar to that.


On Friday my son turned 12 and is growing up pretty fast and loves gaming, so it was hardly a surprise that his mum decided to get him a 360 game for his birthday. It is just a shame that she is a daft bitch that either doesn't have a clue or give a shit as she bought him Bioshock.

For those that don't know Bioshock is a First Person Shooter that features moments of horror and a twisted plot. The game is rated as unsuitable for anyone under the age of 18 for a reason, and it has really wound me up that the thick bitch has just bought and given him the game. It clearly shows that she doesn't actually give a shit about his mental well being. The great thing is he had been hoping to get Naruto: The Broken Bond for his birthday, (a game that is rated 12 and is considered suitable for him) and a game he enjoyed playing when I rented it for him a few weeks back.


It isn't the first time she has done stuff like this and unfortunately it won't be the last, I have said before that some people should not be allowed to have kids. It is such a shame that I ended up having a kid with one of the people that shouldn't be allowed to. As a result I have just spoken with his gran who is going to take the game off him until he comes down next week, where I will trade it in for a more suitable game for him and end up paying the extra money all because of one daft bitch not having a brain and looking at the box.

Hulk Vs Wolverine/Thor

I am a sucker for the odd anime/cartoon film, and as I have a young son I get to use him as an excuse to watch cartoons and anime whenever I want. So when I got the chance to watch the new Hulk Vs DVD earlier today with him I jumped at the chance.

I don't mind the Hulk but he has never been one of my real favourite characters of the Marvel Universe. Don't get me wrong I have nothing against the big green/grey/red guy but I always preferred watching the Spider-man cartoons over the Hulk. Then when it came to reading material I would pick the Silver Surfer and Thor over and other comic.

We decided that we would watch the Hulk Vs Thor cartoon first of all, and I have to say I was a bit disappointed in it overall. The story is ok at best but just felt really underwhelming over all. What could have been a great story of two of Marvels strongest characters just felt like a let down, with a bit of a crap story. It does entertain in parts, but it isn't something that I would recommend to watch unless the alternative is an episode of American Idol or Big Brother. (It really is quite a big let down)

How great it is that Hulk Vs Wolverine is a polar opposite to Hulk Vs Thor. It has a pretty cool story which will keep you entertained, and also has a few surprise guests appearing that are a major part of the storyline. The story also covers some of the origins of one of the titular characters. The real star of the show for me has to be neither the Hulk or Wolverine though, it is someone else that I felt stole the show with some funny one liners and light hearted moments.

I would have to say the Wolverine story is a lot more graphic than the child friendly Thor one, but that should really come of no surprise as Wolverine has claws after all. The big question is though is the DVD worth buying when each story only lasts 45minutes or so? I would have to say no unless the price is right, so if your going to pick it up get it while it is on sale, if not rent it or talk a buddy into buying it and steal it from them.

Conquest Online = Epic Fail

Lord of the Rings Conquest is a game I enjoyed playing, or should I say I enjoyed playing upto a point, That point being when I jumped online to play a few games. The story mode is pretty good overall and plays quite similar to the Star Wars Battlefront series, as you strive to take over all of the bases and defeat the bosses such as the Balrog or Elrond.

There are four different units to play as in the game as you go about the task at hand, such as the warrior who as you would expect just hacks and slashes his way through the enemy horde, with his special attack setting his sword on fire to do more damage. The Warrior can take a fair bit of damage and is one of the strongest characters in the game.


You can also play as the Archer, a character that has a few different arrows such as a poison arrow and a flame arrow, with the best special move being his triple shot. As you would expect the archer is a ranged fighter that isn't great at close combat.

Then we have the Scout, the scout is one sneaky bastard with the ability to turn invisible and sneak behind foes before killing them with one strike. The Scout is probably one of the characters I enjoyed playing as the most with the Archer.

Finally the last standard unit is the Mage, the mage can drop a fireball which kills enemies as they walk over it as well as having the ability to heal himself and other units. It is a shame that he is weak as shit and dies in 2 hits otherwise I probably would have used the character a lot more.
Joining the 4 standard units we have the Heroes and Villans that the Lord of the Rings universe is known for, such as the biggest bad ass of them all the Balrog. Most of these are just more powerful versions of the standard units, some are fun to play as while others are just a pain in the ass.

As I said the game is pretty short in all with about 6 or 7 missions to each campaign. So what is left to do after the single player? Online multiplayer of course and this is where the game starts to become a let down. Units seem to be unfairly balanced in the online mode, with some characters being a joke. After you get so many points in a game online you get asked if you want to become a hero. So you pick yes only to be let down when you find out you have ended up as Gimli. Gimli is probably the worst character to play as online, he just seems really weak and you get pissed off as your charcter does no damage at all.


There is no party system as such so you have to invite your friends into each game, and you can't pick to play on any level as the servers have the maps on an endless loop. So the only way to skip the map that your thought was a bag of cack is to quit out and join a new game.

Online the game is crap and it could have been fantastic if only they made some changes such as....

• A party system that works
  
• The ability to make sure your friends end up on your side
• Balanced units making the game fun
• Being able to vote to skip maps
• Gimli being removed from the game for being fucking useless

With just these few things being fixed the game could go from being a lame piece of cack nobody will be playing online in 2 weeks time, to being a real contender for peoples attention and an alternative to the usual crap like Gears 2 and World At War.

Ah well hopefully we will see that Star Wars: Battlefront 3 game get a release on the 360 sometime soon, one thing is for sure I won't be playing this game until it arrives.

Shitty Game Design

You know what really bugs me about gaming? Shitty game design, we all experience and suffer because of these design flaws. Some are a lot worse than others though and can make you just want to pick up your controller and throw it at the nearest wall. Now not a lot of things in games get me really angry, annoyed yes but angry no.

Talking about annoying things let's discuss invisible walls, Why the heck do we need these nowadays just throw up some brick wall or a bottomless pit or something. It just makes it seem retarded that you can walk up to a certain point and see a vast open space in front of you, Yet you can't walk past a certain point for no apparent reason at all.

One thing that also annoys me that is invisible wall related is items that get dropped just outside of your reach after killing an enemy. You know these item's that you really want as they could be really useful in the game, but you can't pick them up due to the retarded invisible wall. It is like the game designers are just doing it to piss me off.


Take Ninety Nine Nights where they take it to an even greater level, where they incorporate with the Trolls in the game. Upon killing a Troll power ups appear on top of the dead troll. You can't walk through the dead body or jump over to get it, so you have to wait until the body vanishes to grab it. This wouldn't be a problem if the power ups didn't vanish at the same time as the body. As a result this makes the whole power up and item drops for killing a troll redundant.

Also what is with the locked doors in games, if I have a grenade, crowbar or axe I should not have to go and find a red key or blue key to open a wooden door. Heck I don't need those to open a door in real life as my foot can open most doors with a kick in the right spot. So why do I need to find a key in a game as the heroic character when he/she surely has all the tools at their disposal to open a door with ease. If I was playing as George Bush then fair enough, although he probably would end up being locked out and the game would end.


Staying on the subject of doors this is something that annoys me a lot, and probably you as well. There is nothing worse than pressing up on the analog stick to walk through a door, only to end up coming back out of the same door and back into the area you were just in, as the camera angle switches when you reach the other side. How the hell can a solution not be found for this in games, it really is dumb. I don't walk through a door in my house only to find myself back outside the door 2 seconds later as I forgot to stop walking forwards. So why the heck do I have to stop walking forward in a game once I have gone through a door? The answer is because of shitty game design by thick as shit lazy ass coders.

What really annoys me though, in fact it downright pisses me off is games like Call of Duty: World At War. While playing on Veteran you expect the game to be a challenge by making the Nazi's harder to kill, maybe more enemies and the ability to kill you in one or maybe two shots. What you don't expect is the Nazi's to have some superhuman ability to carry fifty thousand grenade's each and throw them at your character with precision aim every millisecond. This leads to the game not being a challenge but being about luck. At one point I was hitting the button to throw the grenades back, and unfortunately the 9th one killed me.


We all love a good challenge in a game, what we don't like however is something retarded that ends up killing us through no fault of our own. We can all live with the fact that we fucked up in a game and died because it was our fault for rushing out or doing something dumb, but when it's something out of our control it really pisses me off.

We live in an age where games are supposedly getting better all the time with realistic looking graphics, amazing physics and all other bullshit. It is a shame that so much is being done to improve these area's yet nothing is done to improve the things that annoy us. With a few changes an average game can become a good game, or at least make it so you want to play it for a bit longer.

Maybe I am just getting fussy about what I expect to see in a game, but at £40 - £50 a game I think I am entitled to an opinion at least. Screw invisible barriers, dumb AI team mates or opponents and all the other crap that pisses me off as I play. Game companies need to ask us gamers what annoys us in games, then listen to us and fix a few of the realistic annoyances we have with the games they make, maybe then gamers won't be such miserable bastards that complain all the time about what is wrong with games.