No More Heroes

No More Heroes puts you in the shoes of loser Travis Touchdown, an assassin ranked 11th in the United Assassins Association of hit men. Driven by the desire to sleep with Sylvia Christel (A woman who is a lot more than she first seems to be) leads him onto a quest to be ranked the number one assassin. Armed with your beam katana (A bit like a light saber) there is very little that can stand in your way.

This game isn't what I really expected after hearing all the hype surrounding it, there are some parts that I really enjoy while others just seem to suck. Yes the game is fun to play as you battle your way to the next ranked person on the list, however I disliked the whole motorbike and job sections.

What An Awesome Mini Map! (Sad Face)

I understand why you have to work as the characters a bum, but knocking coconuts out of a tree and then carrying them to some guy just seems slightly retarded. Especially when you consider he has no customers and the trees are right by him. There are more jobs to do besides this one such as lawn mowing and garbage collection, but these just seem a bit dumb all the same.

You have to work as you have to pay to challenge the person above you on the assassins list. Maybe they made it this way just to fill the game out a bit more, but I can't say I am the biggest fan of these sections. There are also some side missions that you can do to earn money which make it a bit more interesting, as you battle to kill so many people or eliminate a target in a set amount of time.

Now This Is More Like It, These Are The Best Parts (Happy Face)

Another thing about the motorbike sections is the map is a pain in the ass to use, and you can end up being on the wrong side of a set of the building you want to enter, as the map isn't very clear. This could have easily been fixed with the addition of way points and a simple arrow to follow to your destination. The bike also handles like a piece of crap as well.

Despite these failings the main part of the game is all about combat, and this is where the game gets a lot better. The game is a lot like the old school beat em ups, where you have to defeat numerous enemies before the big bad ass end of level boss. (A bit like in Final Fight and Streets of Rage)

That Tiger Is There All The Time For Some Reason

The game does have some nice touches such as you getting phone calls before each boss fight and the voice coming through your Wii-mote. It's just a shame that the speaker in the Wii-mote isn't all that great making it sound a bit crappy. One other touch I liked was when your inside the baseball stadium and an enemy throws a baseball at you, which turns into a scene from Wii Sports with you swinging at the ball and knocking it straight back at the enemy and any others behind them taking them all out.

One thing I did feel a bit strange about was charging my beam katana, you see it only has a certain battery life before it stops being useful. The only way to charge it is by holding down the 1 button and shaking the stick Wii-mote from side to side, which on the screen ends up looking like your character is jerking off his katana.

This Is The Kind Of Graphics You See On A Wii

The game is pretty strange to say the least, but it is strange in a good way with a tongue in cheek plot. Throw in some odd weird moments such as the video store ringing to let you know your copy of "Big German Boobies 40" is overdue and you see what I mean. I think this game may also hold the record for most offensive words used in a video game as well, which is surprising as it's on a Nintendo machine.

The graphics aren't all that great in the game overall, but that is down to the game being on the Wii. (It also can't help that I am playing it on a 42 inch TV) The sound in the game is pretty cool and suits the action that is going on at the time. The control system works really well, and with an in depth tutorial that explains all the controls at the start you shouldn't have any problems at all.