Flea's Non-Gaming Weekend

Me, My Uncle & Sam

Well over the last weekend I haven't really played anything at all as I went to my uncles wedding in Scotland. It was a great weekend though full of laughs and actually no fighting at all. (I didn't know you could have weddings without someone kicking off and spoiling it due to being pissed as a fart)

Wedding car & typical Scottish weather

Some of the highlights included my uncle asking the registrar for a date after the wedding if she wasn't doing anything, producing a kid's Mickey Mouse ring from his pocket to give to his future wife during the ceremony, and later at the evening event standing on a chair to dance with his bride as she was a few inches taller than him in her heels which had everyone in stitches.

My dad, uncle & me

Then after returning home late on Sunday night I ended up just watching a film with Sam. This was supposed to be followed up with a trip to Blackpool on Monday since we both booked the day off work, but due to shitty weather we just went to town and had Chinese Buffet and bought some bits and bats. (including some new games so expect something on those soonish) So that about sums up my weekend of none gaming.

Impressions: E.D.F. Insect Armageddon

As soon as I found out another E.D.F. game was being made I was rather excited, you see despite the flaws of E.D.F. 2017 on the xbox 360 there is a certain charm laying underneath that makes the game great. As a result I ended up buying Global Defence Force and Global Defence Force Tactics on the PS2 so I could see if these games were just as much fun.

After playing Global Defence Force I was quite surprised at how much more great features were in the game that were missing from it's successor E.D.F. 2017. Features such as the ability to pick between different characters and the use of a jet pack character that totally changed the way you played the game due to not only to the ability to fly but also the available weapons in the game for each character.

Insect Armageddon takes this formula and tweaks it slightly giving you 4 possible different character types to choose from. The trooper type is the standard soldier that has appeared in the other games, with mid level armour and manoeuvrability. The Jet pack type is basically the same as the pale wing character from G.D.F. except without the plasma weapons. (at least to the point I have used that type) Fast and able to get out of a horde of ants in a quick manner.

The next up is basically your heavy armoured type, slow and probably having superior fire power to the other types. Although to be honest I haven't even bothered trying this character out yet due to my insistence of using the tactical character.

The last character is the tactical type, this character has deployable turrets and lighter armour than the standard trooper. While this means he can take more damage dropping a turret and getting away from a swarm of enemies means you still thin their numbers while playing defensive at the same time, before then running in all guns blazing.

One thing I don't like about this game though is it feels like an E.D.F. game in name only, sure all the monsters are there and you still get your fellow troops saying dumb one liners that don't even make sense. There is just something missing though that takes away the shine of the game, some of the larger enemies see you just spamming the fire button for 5-10 minutes or sometimes longer. (Which then gets you thinking what's the fucking point in giving it so many hit points)

Then throw in the fact that there is only 15 missions in the game, so as soon as you start getting into it the game finishes. Sure there is the tagged on Survival mode as well as the remixed version of the game. Yet this is shocking when compared to both E.D.F. and G.D.F. which both exceeded 50 levels. The game feels like all the work has gone into the graphics this time around and the game play has kinda been tagged on at the end. It's as if all the great things that made the series a cult classic cheese-a-thon have vanished, yet strangely are all there at the same time. I did miss the ability to blow up the insect holes with rockets and other weapons, since in this game you now have to plant explosives. (Kinda like in Counter-strike) which kinda pissed me off.

I will always like the E.D.F. series yet this has to be one of the worst games I have played in the series. If you liked 2017 you may like this, but then again you could get left with a bitter taste in your mouth upon finishing the final level. Sure the Hectors have never looked better, the spiders are still annoying as hell with their webs yet someone has stolen this games soul. If you play it think the worst and hopefully you may enjoy Insect Armageddon a lot more than I did.

First Impressions: Tony Hawk Shred

HMV is currently selling "Tony Hawk: Shred" for a measly £17.99 on the PS3 and 360 so I just had to pick it up and give it a go. I originally bought it about a week ago and unpacked the board, receiver and game then. Placing the board next to my GH Guitar and the game on the shelf with my PS3 games ready for when I wanted to test the game out.

There was just one problem though, I kinda forgot all about the receiver while giving the game a try. This saw me swearing at the PS3 for not connecting to the board (much to the amusement of my missus) as I turned the system on and off about 3 times trying to get it to connect before grabbing the instructions and spotting the receiver unit just sat there secretly laughing at me.

Once the board was connected I had to go through the boring calibration which again seemed to take forever (about 5-10 minutes real time) once this was all sorted out I hopped on to "Quick Play" accidentally choosing to go through the training mode at the same time. (20 minutes and much boredom later) I was on my way, basically "Shred" is an on rails type of game kinda like SSX Tricky but simpler due to having to use the motion board.

The experience is a bit tricky at first and sometimes you can end up doing tricks by accident and taking a different path to the one your originally selected. (This should pass with time though as you get more used to the controller) I have to admit though that I did enjoy the experience and think the game could turn out to be something of a great game to play when you have a few friends round and the beer is flowing. I know the game got some poor reviews and a lot of people have avoided it, but you really should give the game a try if only for the experience. I can see Tony Hawk: Shred joining the likes of Buzz, Rock Band, Guitar Hero, Sing Star, Wii Sports and a few other games as a drunken party essential.

Duke Nukem Forever Sucks Balls

Duke Nukem Forever has been 12 years in the making; I can't help but feel that those 12 years have been wasted after playing the game. You can normally tell if you are going to like a game by the first 10-30 minutes of game play. Well after about 2 hours or so I had made up my mind that the game sucked balls. (Not balls of steel)

The first encounter with the cyclops was a great starting point to the game, sadly though after that I can't help but feel that the game started to go downhill fast. What should have been a great game just ended up feeling a bit shitty, the graphics while great in some parts looked crap in others. The whole feel of the game started to feel a bit of a let down, like the point where you control a remote control car to get a energy coil. Sure it's a bit different but I just thought "wow this is shitty" it just felt out of place.

Then shortly after you get shrunk down and end up climbing inside and driving another remote control car. This is where boredom really set in for me and once I completed this level and part of the next I had to reach for the off switch. Normally I would go back to a game I get bored off and give it another try to just see if I didn't like it just because of the mood I was in at the time. However Duke Nukem will forever be consigned to the shitty games I will never play again pile.

Glutton For Punishment

Demon Soul's is one major pain in the ass, this game has pissed off so many people in the first couple of hours that they have sworn to never play the game again. Well last time I was playing the game I decided to kill the shop keeper on the very first stage after buying some armour. I did this thinking that I would just be able to steal my money back and he would just re-spawn later in the game.

Unfortunately that wasn't the case and the result was I got nothing back and he never re-spawned at all. So I soldiered on with the game for as long as I could before finding out that my weapons and armour were not strong enough and it wasn't worth going on. All the time I had spent playing the game was now just a waste of time.

Yet this weekend I was just sat thinking about what I could play, and I decided to once again return to Demon Soul's. The game is still hard as nails and very infuriating, yet it just has this charm about it. This time I won't kill the shop keeper and hopefully get a lot further than I did last time, although I know there will be plenty of hair pulling moments along the way as the game punishes me for not blocking when I know I should or doing something retarded. That is all part of the charm of the game though; when you die its because you did something that was a dumb ass move on your part, not because the game is just being a twat for the sake of it.

Engaged

Well recently I got engaged as it seemed like the right thing to do, I met someone that really makes me feel like I have never felt before. (Plus she farts and burps which is always funny) So as a result I am now happier than I have ever felt before in my life. I am one lucky son of a bitch, just a shame she has shit luck and has ended up being engaged to me. lol

Initial Impressions: Trials HD

Well I thought I would finally give Trials HD a whirl after hearing how good it was from some of my buddies a while ago. I was expecting something along the lines of "Joe Danger" except with a more realistic look. I have to say though that I was left a bit disappointed. I will admit that I only tried the first 4-5 levels of the game so it could be a case of just needing to spend a bit more time with the game to see it at its best.

With that being said though sometimes you only need to spend 5 minu

tes playing to know if your going to like a game; and if that's the case then Trials HD is something that I feel is cold and lacking soul. If you have the choice of playing either Joe Danger or Trials HD then it has to Joe Danger every time. It is a shame though as I really wanted to like Trials HD as it does kind of remind me of the old Spectrum game Kick Start. (And the much improved sequel Kick Start 2) Yet it feels like a step backwards in time and not in a good way.

Trials HD is a simple game that wouldn't be out of place on a compilation with any of the games you used to play back in the day and enjoyed. You know the type I mean, the ones that were fun once but if you played them today you would think "Wow this game is so crap, how the heck did I used to enjoy this shit!" Trails HD is a Marmite game, (You either like it or you don't) and for me this is one game I wish I didn't bother playing, whether that will change when I next try it will be another matter, but for now I have to say I doubt it.