Neglected

Well it appears that I have really neglected my blog as of late due to random crap and the bullshit known as life. I am still an admin over at Console Heroes just about, I really do wonder sometimes if the time everyone has put into the site has been worth it. I know the obvious answer is yes, but at times I just feel so frustrated by it all.

This year I have quit the review team then rejoined it, 90% of the time I really hate writing reviews and know that I am crap at it. (Heck I am crap at most things but meh)

I just cleared out my friends list earlier on today of all the people I never game or talk to over Xbox Live, it just seems a waste having people on there you never speak to or play games with.

I have also recently picked up an R4 card for my Nintendo DS, so with a bit of luck I will soon be playing some of my Snes games on the DS as soon as I locate a working emulator that will run with it. Hopefully they will have a Megadrive version as well.

Nothing else to report other than I have decided to fall well and truly off the wagon tonight, so I should be back once I have run out of money and booze.

Happy Fucking New Year

NHL 09 Review

Let's start things off on completely the wrong foot, I never watch hockey, I don't understand all the rules and the only hockey player I can name is Wayne Gretzky. With that being said though I have played early EA hockey games since the early nineties on the Sega Megadrive, and normally end up renting the NHL 2k series. So lets now get this review underway for EA's NHL 09, yep that`s right not the 2k series that I have grown accustomed to but a return to EA's vision of Hockey.

Upon loading the game throws you into a character creation screen where you get to name you character, pick your number, position and if your character is left or right handed. Once completed you get thrown into the training mode which is pretty helpful for us newbies to the EA NHL Hockey series. You learn the basics such as how to shoot, aiming your shots, deke'ing and the best thing checking. Once the training is completed you get taken to a screen called the performance tracker, this will keep a track of how well you do with the character you created both online and offline. After this you are taken to the main menu which features the usual options you would expect to see such as Play Now, Game Modes, Xbox Live. Along with these though we have the new things such as the EA Sports Media Hub where you can upload videos and screen shots. As well as this though you can also add your own custom music for when your team walks onto the ice or scores a goal. Its only a little thing but I like it, its nice to see that bit of extra customizations being added to tailor the experience to something more than you would expect to see in a game.


Next up we have My NHL 09 that has a host of different tabs to choose from such as the Creation Zone which has the usual Create Player/Team options we now have a new option though called Edit Be A Pro this is where you can edit the character you created at the start in more depth such as date of birth, height and wight to appearance and stats.
The next tab is the Roster Management where you can edit various things from transfers and signing free agents to jersey numbers. After this the next tab is the settings tab where you can change the rules, game play settings and everything else that you would expect to do in the options screen such as mess with the volume and controller settings.
The last few tabs are Profile Management, Save/Load and Delete, NHL 09 Code Entry (Probably for cheats or something) and lastly EA Sports Extras which at the moment only has the game credits. So basically the main menu has everything you would expect to see and a few more things thrown in for good measure.

So I decided to jump into a play now game on the default settings and I started getting my ass beat pretty badly something like 3 - 0, frustrated I went into the options mid game to see what the controls were as surely I was pressing something wrong. It was here that I stumbled upon something I did not expect to see as well as the new control modes there is an option for the classic controls, if you press the button once more however you will see the old school two button controls used in NHL `94, one quick controller layout change later and I was still losing by 3 goals until I managed to score with the much simpler controls, the CPU won in the end 4 - 1 but at least I scored. After the game you can then select from a choice of highlights and view them, moving the camera around and taking pictures and editing clips to upload to EA to show the world. It's a nice feature but one that I can't see being used very often if at all.

One quick quit to dashboard to make a custom play list later and some tweaking with the EA Sports Media Hub and I returned to the play now menu, this time though I decided to not punch above my weight so knocked the difficulty level down a touch from pro to rookie. (Yes I know I suck but its my first time playing the game) One game later and I had won 6 - 1using the new control system, it takes a bit of getting used to with the right trigger being the pass button and the right analogue stick being used not only for shooting but also checking when your on the defence. It does seem strange at first but if you stick with it then its not to bad. If you really hate it though There`s always the classic mode where everything is done by button presses, or you could always relive your youth with the '94 controller setup. One tip for the song selection for when you score a goal make it something that starts loud as it only plays for about 10 -15 seconds.


Now I have played two quickish games from the play now option I decided to jump into the be a pro mode, so after selecting a team to join (I chose the Detroit Red Wings just for the simple reason they were ranked high on NHL 2k8) Now you have to select what your going to aim for over the season out of 4 targets before you are then taken to an upgrade screen, where you get the chance to spend some points on certain attributes to make your player better, although you don't really have many to actually do much difference overall. Moving forward though you find out that your not actually playing for Detroit its some other team instead. (The manager of the Red Wings probably told EA to not let me join their team as they heard I suck) As a result I joined the AHL team the Grand Rapids Griffins. In this mode you play your way through the season just playing in one position. This has been done before in other games, with the first being Libero Grande that I can remember using this system, while it can be a good idea, it is really annoying when your team mate misses a shot you think you would have scored and leaves you feeling a bit helpless at first. It is a brave move to include this mode and while it does work to a degree it can be annoying at the same time having to rely on the AI to get the job done. Maybe once your used to it then it could be fun, but I have to say this mode just isn't for me as I like to be able to blame myself for losing rather than some dodgy AI player.

So with me not being a fan of the Be A Pro mode its a good job to see that I am still catered for with Dynasty Mode. Dynasty mode is the league mode that you expect to be in any NHL game, with you trying to win your division and get into the Stanley Cup at the end of the season. Now this is the mode that you will be probably end up playing most of the time offline. You can sort out all the usual things like trades and other things to try and make your team that bit better than the opposition and keep improving season after season.


As we all know the game play in sports games hardly ever changes apart from little tweaks that either end up making the game better or worse than the previous years version. All I can say about NHL 09 is that the game play is pretty great, sure the controls need some getting used to and you can't press a button to suddenly boost to the other end leaving the opposition for dead. This game is more realistic in that sense but it is still fun to play and isn't some boring simulation attempt at Hockey. If I was going to compare it to last years NHL 2k8 game I would say that this is a harder version of that game, you can't play 1 minute periods and win 12 - 0 you play a minimum of 4 minute periods and your not always likely to score from every shot you have. When you get used to the style of play change from the 2k8 games you will see that this game has its own good points, and is serious competition for being crowned as the number one Hockey game on the 360.

The soundtrack to the game features a range of different bands and I can honestly say that not one track I have heard has annoyed me so far. Featuring tracks by Billy Talent, Coheed and Cambria, Avenged Sevenfold and Bullet For My Valentine to name but a few of the rock style 20+ tracks.

I hopped onto xbox live and tried a ranked game and unlike a lot of the problems you receive when you try playing NHL 2k8 online, this didn't seem to suffer the same problems at all, no freezing mid game and then ending and I had no problems with lag at all. You can also save the highlights and upload them from any games played online, so the one and only goal I score in overtime got uploaded straight away for the world to see. Let's face it once you have played the offline mode to death your going to be playing online all the time, and with the chance to show off your 20 yard screamers, sharing the best moments is the only thing to do to improve the online side of the game, and you can.

The game does everything right and nothing at all wrong in my book, the only problems you will have is getting used to the new control system but that should just take you a few games, and they really do work well once you get used to them. This is the ultimate Hockey game and well deserves the score I am giving it, it has everything you would expect plus much more and is a serious contender if not out right winner for sports game of the year.

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Infinite Undiscovery Review

Let me just start by saying that this isn't the game I expected it to be. I opened the case, took the disk out and put it in my 360 to be greeted by pretty cool opening as a bird fly's between some mountains and then turns and heads towards a .................... I won't carry on and ruin the rest of the intro for you, I will however say as intro's go its not to shabby, and its a world away from where you actually start the game.

I am not saying that the graphics when you start the game are really poor as they are exactly as you would expect them to be on the 360. It's just that you go from watching a bird flying across a beautiful landscape to the pits of a dark damp prison. It does make a change from where you normally start a game though instead of being some young male in a village. (that is unless its Oblivion or Chronicles of Riddick)

So as I was saying you start the game trapped in a prison cell asking the guard for food, only for him to call you scum and hit you. Worry not though as a case of mistaken identity soon gets you freed from your cell, as Capell the flute player (that`s you) gets rescued because of his remarkable resemblance to the hero of the land Sigmund. One quick cut scene later and the only thing left to do now is escape from the prison itself. Will you be able to escape though? Well it would be a short game if you couldn't, even shorter than most people played Avatar for.


Fear not though it's not all dark and dingy dungeons (which is great because the game I played before this was Too Human, which was to really dark and dingy) You soon have open fields with the sun blazing down and creatures to kill.

If you are expecting vast open fields that go on forever then your going to be disappointed, that`s not to say it isn't full of overly large areas, just not the kind you would normally expect in this type of game. This however is a good thing as there are no Chocobo's or Horses to ride on in this game, the only way you can travel from place to place is by foot. This brings with it some calls of "Oh no" as you travel all the way back to a village, just so complete a sub quest or pick up an item that is only available in a distant village. So yes it's a pretty small game map compared to some other RPG's but it really isn't so small that you don't sigh as you realise you have forgotten to buy something, and will take you quite a bit of time to journey from one place to the next.

I was expecting Infinite Undiscovery to be a turn based battle affair something along the lines of Blue Dragon or Final Fantasy X, I was surprised that this is an action game with RPG elements added to it. (I am not sure why though, as I have played Tri-Aces other games such as the PS2 game Star Ocean: Till the End of Time, and that has a similar style of fighting) In Infinite Undiscovery though, you aren't transported to a separate battlefield to fight, you are already on it.


You fight against enemies and creatures in the game by running up to them and attacking them, or if they notice you first they will come and attack you. You can however surprise the enemies by connecting with a party member and using a long range connect skill, by doing this you will then get the chance to get a rare drop item by defeating them within a set amount of time highlighted by a bar in the top left of the screen. It is with these connect moves though that the game adds something different, with you being able to command your linked party member to attack certain an enemy with a special attack. (They learn more special attacks as they level up and you can assign 2 from the connect menu) You don't have to fight all enemies you come across though you can just run past them if you want to, but then you miss experience points.

The connect option isn't just used for battle though, you use this in villages as well as certain characters can speak to certain people and animals to get side quests. One thing that I didn't like about the side quests is that you can not just check your menu to see which ones you have started, so your left scratching your head thinking what the heck was I doing at times. This is the same with the main quest as well, so if you don't pay attention to a cut scene you could be running around for 10 minutes like a headless chicken. (This is why you don't accept chat invites while playing the game)

It isn't just your party members that learn new moves though, as you also learn them again through levelling up. These special moves are activated by holding down the A or B button depending on which one you want to use. When you don't want to use a special move and just fight normally, you just press the A and B buttons, you have combo moves to make it a bit more interesting which can see your enemy getting lifted into the air and juggled to get more experience points with every hit to keep them up there. Bad news though the max Air combo possible is 999 hits. (I think my highest was 70+ so I must suck) You can also do normal combo's and ground combo's as well, with you regaining attack points for a normal combo and HP and MP for a ground combo.


A lot of people have said that this game is short, with an average play through including crafting (Which we will come to later) and side quests the games around 40 hours long and that is not including finishing things you missed and the Seraphic Gate that's unlocked after finishing the game on Normal or Hard, which will add around five more hours or so to the game. When you consider most games last around 6-7 hours on the 360 I don't see why they are complaining. Yes for an RPG it isn't weighing in at the usual 50 hour mark, but it isn't far off that. So there is no need to string the game out for five hours longer if the story doesn't require it, The same people would then complain that the story dragged on to much for no reason at all.

As story`s go this one won't surprise many people as you battle to save the world just like you have done so before in many other RPG's, however there are a few twists here and there that make it entertaining enough. As you would expect the story is told via cut scenes and for the most part these are pretty good, however these do contain some annoyances such as some of them featuring voice overs and 10 minutes later when you get another cut scene you just get text instead. This is pretty lazy and really we should have been given voice overs for all the cut scenes or none at all. As when you just get the text to read you feel like you have been let down, a scene right near the end has really poor dubbing on as well with the voices being way out of synch. This is really a minor annoyance at best, but it still annoyed me all the same. Despite this though the story is pretty solid and well thought out. I quite enjoyed the experience overall as you learned about Capell and the other characters as they grew together through out the game.

There are two ways to get better equipment and potions during the game, and that is through crafting. If you have played Final Fantasy XI or any other MMORPG then you will have a rough idea what it is already, for those that don't basically crafting is combining 2 or more items together to make a superior item, from a more powerful sword to something like a potion that replenishes more health than the standard affair. There is a wide range of different items you can make with different characters. You have to use the connect skill in towns on one of your party members to be able to select the option for them from the party menu. (Not all party members can craft though) You can also select it out in the fields between towns as well giving you the chance to create multiple items as you set characters working on different items at the same time. You will get the occasional failures though when crafting something won't work one time but will the next.


Capell doesn't use crafting skills himself though, he uses something called enchanting. Enchanting will add a time limited status to the character you choose to cast it on, these can be anything from +20 attack power, element added attacks, stronger defence to x3 money. Like crafting as long as you have the items you can cast certain enchantments.

One thing I found strange in the game is if you are in the middle of a battle and need to use a potion to replenish your MP, you have to hit the party menu and click items then scroll down to the potion you want to use. While doing this you are open to attacks and looking for a certain item can take you 10 seconds you don't have in a boss battle. This could have easily been resolved with an option to map certain items onto the left and right of the D-pad, again this is a minor thing and won't spoil your enjoyment but annoying all the same.

A lot of thought has been put into the game about what can be added to make the game different from the current RPG's on the 360, and one of the answers Tri-Ace came up with is situation bonuses which reward you with items, money or even better outrageous amounts of experience points. You earn these by doing certain things such as getting kills with catapults or defeating an enemy or reaching somewhere under a set time. The game is sneaky though and doesn't tell you before hand the conditions, its more a case of congratulations have some stuff for doing well which is pretty nice and unexpected.


It's not all hack and slash though as you also get to solve quite a few puzzles along the way, with one such scarring me for life as I ran around a forest section trying to reach one point, only to be warped miles away from where I was supposed to go. To say this was a hair pulling moment is an understatement, I am still having nightmares about it now, once you learn the system to solve it though it's not to bad, just make sure you have a pen and paper ready incase you need to write something down to help you work out how to get past any you get stuck on.

Once you complete the game there is still stuff to do such as the usual tidying up of any side quests that you never finished, the best thing however is the Seraphic Gate. The Seraphic Gate sees you and your party return to areas you have been to before through out the game, defeating much tougher enemies as you try to reach the portal to the next section. You also face bosses every few sections, these are a one on one affair which are pretty tough to say the least. It it nice to see this mode was added though instead of just being dumped by the game once the main story is finished and adds a bit more bang for your bucks.

The game may not win many awards for being truly innovative and changing the landscape of gaming as we know it, but that isn't what the game sets out to do. The game sets out to keep you entertained and make the time you spend with it fun, and I have to say that I quite enjoyed my time with Capell and his pals as they set about their journey to triumph over the evil Order of Chains. As RPG's go this is a great effort and one that I am sure you will enjoy if you decide to buy or rent it. It does so much right and very little wrong you can't help but like the game.

Things Rocket could have wrote about,,,,,,,,,

So Rocket wrote a piece on alcohol and the age of drinking, while some may find it interesting we are supposed to be a games website, and the amount of news that goes up on the site at times can be slim to say the least, even when there is a lot available. To show my displeasure I wrote a comment saying something like I can't wait to play this game.
Here is just somethings that went on at Leipzig the same day he decided to write his blog entry, Sorry I really meant to say editorial that went on the front page of a Gaming Website that has hardly any news on it.


PC X360 [art] Dungeon Hero Gamecock
GC: Five Leipzig screenshots.

He could have said something about the new screens and shown them. While comparing it with previous similar style games and saying what features would be great to see in the game.

PC X360 [art] Velvet Assassin Gamecock
GC: Three new screenshots from Leipzig.

He could have compared this with other stealth games and looked at the info available on it and made a preview feature since the game comes out quite soon.

[art] Quantum of Solace: The Game Activision
GC: Three new videos to take a look at.

Could have watched them and wrote how good or bad it looks and/or posted the videos.

Multi [art] TNA iMPACT! Midway
GC: A Leipzig trailer.

X360 [art] TNA iMPACT! Midway
GC: The Xbox 360 packshot.

Mentioned his thoughts on it and how it looks compared to Smackdown Vs Raw, and said something on how very little changes on Wrestling games, yet they still sell in there millions like fifa and madden.

X360 [art] Supreme Commander 505 Games
Aeon base screens.

Maybe looked at this and an editorial about why RTS games don't seem to work as well on the 360 as they do on the PC.

PC PS3 X360 [art] Damnation Codemasters
GC: Concept artwork.

PC PS3 X360 FUEL Codemasters
GC: A fact sheet.

PC PS3 X360 [art] Damnation Codemasters
GC: Proudly proclaimed as a "new and exclusive vista shot".

PC PS3 X360 [art] Damnation Codemasters
GC: 29 new screenshots.

X360 [art] Damnation Codemasters
GC: The Xbox 360 packshot.

X360 [art] Damnation Codemasters
GC: The Xbox 360 packshot. (North America)

PC PS3 X360 Damnation Codemasters
GC: The Leipzig fact sheet.

He could have gone with an in depth look into Damnation, and asked the question just how many shooters do we need on the 360.

All NHL 2K9 2K Sports
Skate on over to the Xbox LIVE Marketplace to download the demo.

Announced that this demo was now available.

PS3 X360 [art] Darksiders: Wrath of War THQ
GC: A PDF factsheet.

PS3 X360 [art] Darksiders: Wrath of War THQ
GC: Fourteen screenshots from GC.
PS3 X360 [art] Darksiders: Wrath of War THQ
GC: Twenty screenshots.
PS3 X360 [art] Darksiders: Wrath of War THQ
GC: Documentary video chapter one.
PS3 X360 [art] Darksiders: Wrath of War THQ
GC: Nine bits of concept art.

He could have done an in depth feature on this forthcoming adventure game that looks a bit similar to Devil May Cry mixed with a few other games.

PS3 X360 NHL 09 EA
PS3 demo available for download; Xbox 360 sibling to follow next month.

Announced that this demo was on its way in September.

Now don't get me wrong I like Rocket and consider him a good friend, but I just find it annoying that he went with what he did while we have so little news going up on the front page.

Frustration

Well it appears that no matter what, certain people don't like doing work on the site. When you call them on it or question their commitment, they get all pissy and sulk about it. Why the fuck should some staff do all the work while others do fuck all. Its really fucking annoying and causes other people to not do anything, as they get pissed off with the people that don't get involved with stuff. If you don't want people to question what you do or don't do on the site here is an idea for you, either fucking do something a couple of days a week when you can or fucking resign. All your doing is causing the rest of the staff to resent you, and stop us from making the site as good as it can be.

Wolf of the Battlefield: Commando 3 & 1942: Joint Strike Reviews

Commando was not one of my favourite games to play back in the 80`s, for some reason I just couldn't get into it and disliked it, yes it was a solid game and looked and played great but the game kept kicking my ass. As a result I avoided playing it at the Arcade and the Spectrum version got thrown into a pile of games that I did not play unless 1) I was extremely bored or 2) one of my friends came round to play it.

Fast forward a few years later and I was in a ten pin bowling alley with a bunch of friends and as usual I wandered over to the Arcade machines. (Yup even when I go out to take a break from playing games I still want to play games) There in a corner was a game called MERCS, I thought that looks a bit familiar so pumped some money into it to have a quick go. This game was great, I was really enjoying playing it despite getting shouted at as everyone was waiting for me to bowl. The game allowed you and two others to play in co-op mode taking on a horde of soldiers, helicopters and tanks, just like another game I could not remember for the life of me. It turned out that this game was the follow up to Commando but instead of loathing it, I really enjoyed playing every moment of it even though the game was equally as tough as its predecessor.



So when I heard that Commando 3 was going to be appearing on the 360 I began to worry, was this going to be a case of like or loathe. Well I guess there is only one way to find out so here we go.

Commando 3: Wolf of the Battlefield while being the follow up to the Commando and Mercs was developed by Backbone entertainment instead of Capcom. Just like MERCS you can play three player co-op however this time you can choose from three which all have different stats to each other in the Speed,Health and Grenade departments. The characters look as you imagine with Wolf and Coyote being big brutes of men with large muscles and even bigger guns, Joining them however is the rather petite looking female named Fox as you would expect she is the fastest one of the three.



The visuals for the game are good if you like cartoon style graphics, but if you dont then it sucks to be you. (Its not exactly Cel-Shading, but its close enough) The game on a whole is pretty challenging with you using the right analog stick to fire in a certain direction. During the game there are a few weapon pickups available to you like the Dual Shot which fires in a straight line, a Triple shot that fires as you would expect in three directions, a flame thrower which is the weakest weapon in the game and should be avoided at all costs (it really is that bad killing an enemy with it can take 2-3 seconds and in this type of game its not worth it) and lastly the rocket launcher. The rocket launcher while slow firing just destroys everything in its path as you would expect. As well as these you also get grenades and a kill all enemies on screen move called a MERC Strike or something. (shoot me I forgot the name of it)



The enemies just keep coming from everywhere in this game so as you would expect your finger is never off the trigger. (Yeh I know but analogue stick doesn't sound right) As you would expect from the previous games vehicles are made available to you in the levels such as a Jeep and a Tank which gives you the option of just staying and shooting enemies slowly or plowing through them and running the enemy over as you try to complete the stage. One thing I didn't like is when you exit a vehicle you can end up anywhere, so if you hop out to pick up a medal for more points you can end up on the other side to it and get killed by the enemies that have just spawned on that side.

The first boss fight sees you taking on a tank and is pretty much what you would expect from this game as a boss. However what you don't expect is the other bosses later on in the game, to say they are pretty lack lustre could be an understatement. This doesn't really spoil the fun of the game though, it just makes you a bit disappointed by what you actually see on the screen.



The game is not without it's problems though, with slow down appearing every so often, not enough to totally ruin the game as it only lasts a second or so here and there, but it is enough that it will annoy you. Another problem could be that the gameplay is to linear for a lot of people, I know what your gonna say "What game is'nt linear" but there is linear in a good way where little things change to keep you playing and linear in a bad way which leaves you a bit bored of it all. Unfortuantely this is in the bad way, at least it felt that way to me. I am sure some people will like this game and it will be a lot more fun with one or two other people playing the game with you, but playing through on your own you reach stage 3 - 4 and think jeez I hope this is nearly over. Saying that though its not a bad game, it is just one you should not play on your own, although it will stop squabbling about who gets which power up.

Overall for 800 points though you get what you pay for, and at the price although the game is pretty short (5 stages in total) but its worth a look at, if you don't like what you see in the first level trial then, you wont like the game. If you do however then great its pretty much the same all the way through but with the bosses as well.








In 1981 the world of the SHMUP (Shoot 'em up) was about to be redifined when Namco decided to redifine the genre with the first vertical scrolling SHMUP, a little game known as Xevious. The impact of this on the SHMUP genre was huge with many Arcade fanatics being amazed at what they saw back then, so it was with little surprise that other game companies were inspired and many copies and interpretations started to appear in the arcades.

Way back in the mid 80`s Capcom were renowned for making fantastic Arcade games such as Bionic Commando, Commando, Gun Smoke and Ghost's n`Goblin's to name but a few of the classic games they made. All of these games had one thing in common they were all solid games of a high standard and recieved ports on numerous systems. So it was of little surprise that when they decided to make a vertical scrolling SHMUP the game was going to be worth playing, as everyone expected from Capcom 1942 turned out to be a great game, this was a time when Capcom could do no wrong and everything they touched turned to gold.

The 1942 series has a earned its place in history spawning 7 titles in total including this one, how many other game series do you know that have had 6 follow up games released? I can't think of any that can match or exceed that except for the Final Fantasy and Resident Evil series of games, so personally I think that speaks volumes for the series. (Yup I know there is the Madden and Fifa games as well but they are just cash cows, which I am sure I will get complaints about saying, but hey it's true.)



So just what is 1942: Joint Strike? It is not really a remake of the original 1942 game as some people think it is, it is more of a mix and match of the best bits from the other games in the series while also retaining its own touch of originality. This is still everything you would expect from the 1942 name though just with a bit more under the hood to enhance the experience. When you first start the game you have the choice of 3 different planes to choose from with different attributes to each other in the Health,Speed, Power and Missile stats.
The graphics are crisp enough allthough you won't really be paying to much attention as you try to save you skin from the various enemies you encounter during the game. There is about 10+ different types of enemies you will encounter during different levels not including the bosses from the standard enemy plane to turrets, boats and tanks to name a few.

As you would expect in any SHMUP there are power ups for you to pick up while playing, you obtain these by shooting down a squadron of red fighter planes, shooting them all will result in a different power up being dropped which can provide anything from a different primary weapon such to bombs, health or medals and occasionally an overpowered weapon thats available for a limited time only.




Another cool feature is that shooting enemies will provide you with missiles that you can use by tapping either the X or B button, these can seriously save your skin when you want to save your Bombs until you reach the Boss at the end of the stage, and believe me you will want to use them then.

One thing that the 1942 series of games has always had is big mechanical bosses that fill the screen, and will keep you on your toes as they spray shots everywhere , luckily unlike in the very first 1942 game you now have a health bar so one shot no longer kills you straight away. This game is tough and unforgiving where you have to rely on quick skills to avoid enemy fire, but you wouldn't have it any other way though really. If you have played any of the 1942 games you are sure to see a few familiar bosses make a return.



A new feature in this game is the aptly named Joint Strike, where while in local multi-player mode or over xbox live instead of having missiles you can do a joint attack instead which sees you using a lightning net between both planes to destroy the enemy hordes.

While this game can be looked at as just another shooter, news flash what did you really expect. Ok the game does not really do anything to change the landscape, but at the same time it doesn't do anything bad at the same time. You get solid gameplay, responsive controls and a game that does exactly what you would expect from it. All in all its a pretty good game that will keep you entertained and certainely falls into the catergory of XBLA games that are worth playing. Also good luck as the game is pretty tough to say the least, I still haven't managed to finish it yet, a true sign of old school gaming the games tough.

Soul Calibur IV Review

Way back in 1996 I got a chance to play an all new arcade game at my local Laser Quest. With quite a large group of people gathered around it I knew it had to be something good. Had they finally got the brand new shiny Tekken 2 that I wanted to play, or even better the much anticipated Virtua Fighter 3? Alas the answer was no. It ended up being a little game called Soul Edge, or as we called it Tekken with swords. And with the game coming from the same team as Tekken it was easy to see why the comparison was made, and being compared to such a classic wasn't a bad thing. The graphics were great and the game played fantastic, even better shortly after playing the game I found out it was due for release on the PlayStation. My love affair with the Soul series had its first seeds planted.

Fast forward to sometime in 1999. I was bored of fighting games now and just started to swap between different gaming genres. The fighting games around just seemed to be updates with a few extra characters and very little changing from one title to the next. This all changed though when I decided to pick up Soul Calibur for my Dreamcast after going round a friend's house and being stunned by what I saw. The game I had forgotten about long ago now had a new name, and looked so much better while playing like a dream. Even the roster had now been changed with the inclusion of Yoshimitsu from the Tekken series and several other new faces. I had found a reason to play fighting games again and that reason was Soul Calibur, a game that is still considered one of the best fighting games of all time. With the inclusion of Mission Mode, gamers finally had a reason to keep on playing the game after beating the Arcade Mode, aside from pulling it off the shelf when your mate popped round to get his ass kicked.

Since then I have played each of the Soul Calibur games in the series even going as far as to buy all 3 versions of Soul Calibur II just so I could play as each one of the unique characters released on each system the game was released on. (Gamecube got Link from Zelda; The PlayStation 2 got Heiachi from Tekken and the Xbox got McFarlane's creation Spawn)



So when Soul Calibur IV was announced it was with little surprise that I was excited to play the game. Even more excited than that fateful morning I woke up early and sat around in my underpants waiting to download Soul Calibur on the XBLA, only to realize that it was 6am and I still had hours left to wait before I could get my hands on it. Yes, the same Soul Calibur game that has sat 10 feet away from me on a shelf for the Dreamcast that I haven't been interested in playing for so long.

So when Soul Calibur IV popped through the letterbox of the Console Heroes UK offices, it was with very little hesitation that I switched the phones off, drew the curtains, and grabbed some snacks before putting the disk in my 360. Who should I play as first, my old favorite Sueng Mina? Or should I go for Mitsurugi or maybe some random character? I ended up picking Yoda. Yes, the same little old green hermit from Star Wars. I will admit I was quite worried about how Yoda would fit in within the Soul Calibur world, and my worst fears were proved to be right. Everyone likes the little green guy, and with good reason as he is a great character in the Star Wars universe, however he should have stayed there and sent Obi-Wan Kenobi or some other hero instead. To say the character just doesn't fit in could be seen as harsh but its true, you will notice this more when you fight against him and all your attacks are sailing over his head, while your low attacks hardly seem to damage him. Heck, shove one of the guys from the films that lives for 2 seconds into the game instead as long as they aren't 2 feet tall and play like crap we won't mind. Sorry to say, but as guest stars in the Soul Calibur series go, this is probably the worst.

The good news is though that one bad Jedi doesn't have the power to ruin the game though even though you have to play through Arcade mode with them to get your hands on the real bad guy. That bad guy is Jacob Nion aka StarKiller, Darth Vader’s Sith Apprentice from the upcoming Star Wars: Force Unleashed game. Well as you all know Jacob is Vader’s secret apprentice, but you probably don't know how it all came about. We all remember the events of Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith when Order 66 was put in effect and the extermination of the Jedi began. During these events, Darth Vader traveled to the Wookie homeworld of Kashyyyk to seek out any Jedi taking refuge there. He hit the jackpot when he stumbled upon Kento Nion and a fight quickly broke out between the two, which resulted in Vader using the Force to choke Kento. Seeing this unfold, Jacob used the force to take Vader's lightsaber. Sensing the potential of the young boy he quickly finished off Kento and killed a group of Imperial Soldiers that had witnessed the events and whisked Jacob away to train in secret as his apprentice to carry out Order 66 and ultimately stand with him to kill Vader's master Darth Sidious.



But how does he play? The character may not be your usual Soul Calibur fighter, but he slots in okay as opposed to being another character just wedged in that isn't needed. Both Yoda and StarKiller both use Force powers in the game as well as the standard moves. The Force has a separate small bar underneath the screen, which depletes when the powers are used and refills over time as you'd expect. Some of StarKiller's really cool moves include a throw that if positioned on the edge of the ring facing the middle ends up with your opponent getting flung over the edge. You also have force pulls to drag your opponents closer and lightning to hurl from your fingertips while you’re in mid air. We all know that the inclusion of the Star Wars characters is nothing more than a marketing deal for both Soul Calibur IV and The Force Unleashed to get more attention, but it is great to see that at least with StarKiller they got it right and he fits right in with the Soul Calibur world.

Now that all the Star Wars stuff is out of the way we can get onto the real meat of the game. In this iteration of the game you get everything you would expect to see and a whole lot more. From the Menu screen you see there is a whole host of options to choose from. In the singleplayer tab we have the Story mode which will see your character fight over five stages as they try to get their hands on or destroy Soul Edge or Soul Blade, and also give you the chance to unlock some characters along the way.

Then we have Tower of Lost Souls, which will see you tearing your hair out as you fight to ascend to the top of the tower, unlocking items and weapons along the way. Essentially these are split into groups of 3 stages or so that will require you to meet certain conditions to unlock items and weapons taking breaks in between a set amount of floors to change characters or to just to take a break. Once you have completed the first twenty floors however, the Descend the Tower option will now be open to you. This is basically the survival mode; you get to pick 2 characters and battle your way through as many stages as possible with your health not replenishing. Tower Of Lost Souls is everything you would expect from the mission mode in a Soul Calibur game. In other words challenging, frustrating and fun all at the same time.

There is also the usual Arcade and Training modes, with Arcade seeing you pit your wits and test your reflexes in battle over 8 Stages in the best of two battles. Training is training, as you would expect to see in any other game. You can spend time in training to practice combos and get a better feel for each character against enemies who will perform only the actions you set them to. This can help a lot when you're trying to figure out which combos and attacks are best under specific circumstances.



Returning to the main menu, you'll see the usual Versus modes, where you can choose to compete in Standard or Special Versus, the difference being that Special includes Weapon and Equipment effects. Sadly there is no Team Battle mode which would have been a nice inclusion, but I guess we can't have everything, and you will probably only play this when someone turns up at your door for a game.

The same versus options are available in the Xbox Live section of the menu screen, with the only difference being able to play the games Ranked or in a Player Match. So how is the online side of things? Well depending on whom you ask it’s either really laggy or its fine. I have had mixed experiences with it. My first game against some guy in China was a bit laggy for one round, then it was fine for the next two. The next game I played against someone in America was nearly unplayable and suffered from terrible lag, yet the American I played after that suffered no lag at all. To combat this you should just play with people that have good connections. The best way to find out how good their connection is is to look at the bars at the side of their names when you browse for games. If its a 4 you should have no trouble; even with 3 you will probably be ok. Just avoid the poor connections with 2 bars or lower and your gaming experience should be lag-free. You can also view the usual leaderboards as well and see how your mates are getting on with the game in Arcade and Online as well as viewing their Online fight history. The game will see the usual one move wonders though as all fighting games seem to get, where your opponent will just do the same move over and over again to get a cheap win. That’s not the game's fault though, it's down to the crap gamer you're playing against.

Next up is Character Creation, where you can purchase characters, give new weapons and items to the ones currently available, or create your own character. Your created characters do have to have one of the normal character's move sets so you can't mix your favorite moves. There is more than enough options to modify your character though to make them stand out from others you will see on Xbox Live, especially since different items have different effects on weapons, and you can also set up different skills to use in battle. The only way to get gold to pay for the items is to play the game, and lets face it that is what you got the game for in the first place, so if you don't have enough money for that eye patch you always wanted keep playing. One thing you can't do is customize Star Killer or Yoda apart from giving them a gem and a different Light Saber that looks exactly the same, this is a missed opportunity but Lucas Arts didn't want people making their own Jedi for some reason.

Next up we have Museum, and let me just start by saying that it's great to see how much work has gone into this. First up we have the Chain of Souls which contains Character Profiles, relationships between characters, and also who is after which sword. The character profiles are pretty detailed to say the least and a lot of thought has gone into them that you will want to read half of them at least.



Then we have the Art Gallery which contains everything from Illustrations, Character art, Promo Items and more. You can view any items you purchase in a slide show as well, but you will probably be saving all that gold for the Eye Patch mentioned earlier rather than dropping it on some concept art.

Next up is the Event Theater, which shows all the Opening and Ending movies for any character's story you have finished. Along with a few other bits and bats thrown in for good measure.

Lastly we have Battle Records, which is just a fancy way of saying "Achievements you have unlocked", as there is nothing more than that under this tab. It would have been nice to see a list of your wins and losses and a few other details but they are all missing unfortunately, but this was probably tacked on for the Playstation 3 players so they can compare what they have done with their 360 owning mates.

Well that’s all the boring crap out of the way, now its time to tell you how this thing plays. To put it simply, friggin' excellent. I put the game in and ended up just playing through the game until about 3am when I finally realized what time it was, while trying to avoid things like eating, bathroom breaks, and all the other things I should have been doing instead of playing this game. Some characters could do with a bit more balancing, as some are a lot stronger than they need to be, while others seem to have been slowed down a touch and had the damage they do reduced.

The sword and armor effects work great, with some characters playing much better with the right set up, and can make a weaker player more balanced against an opponent on live or against the CPU. With over 30 characters to mess about with and customize, the only thing stopping you is the amount of items you have unlocked and the gold you have in the game. The characters for the most part play differently to each other with only a few being similar to each other. It would have been nice to see some of the old characters that were dropped from previous games make a return, but there is still a character for everyone to play as. From the speedy Sueng Mina, to the weird Voldo, to the brute power of Astaroth, there will be ones that you loathe and like, just as you would expect in any fighting game. It's all about finding which character is best for you and the most fun to play as.

The gameplay is tight, the controls are great, and this is what you expect and want to see in a Soul Calibur game. Heck it's what you want to see in any game. The story mode is pretty short with only 5 stages, but when you consider that you are sometimes fighting against 4 enemies per stage then you can understand why there are only 5 stages.

A lot of people in the past have said can you imagine what Mortal Kombat would be like if the game play was as good as the fatalities. Well imagine no longer as in Soul Calibur IV you get to see Namco’s take on fatalities called Critical Finishes. In this game you get to do something called a Soul Crush by repeatedly attacking and having your attack blocked. Sort of like the armor break system but on a more spiritual level. Eventually you will hear a crack sound which will leave your opponent open for a moment when this happens you just tap your LB button and you will initiate a Critical Finish. Unlike in Mortal Kombat you won't see any blood and guts but they are still pretty entertaining to say the least but without the 20 million button inputs.

So to wrap things up Yoda was a bad idea, but other than that the gameplay is everything you would expect. The graphics are as shiny as you would expect them to be, the sound is great and there is more than enough here to keep you entertained for quite sometime. Am I a bit biased towards Soul Calibur? Maybe, maybe not. I like good games and this is one of them, and it's worth a try at least even if you’re only a bit of a fighting game fan. Take the gamble, you will be glad you did.

Soul Calibur XBLA Review

Soul Blade/Edge was just Tekken with swords but still amazed quite a few people and they hoped that they would get to see a follow up. Shortly after Soul Calibur was announced and appeared in arcades worldwide, and people dreamed of a home version. What nobody expected was to see what appeared on the Dreamcast, the conversion was a work of art and turned out a lot better than anyone had hoped for, and is probably still one of the best Soul Calibur games in the series. So when I found out that I would be able to get my hands on the game today courtesy of the Xbox Live Arcade I was rubbing my hands with joy, heck I actually got up at 6.30am hoping that it may go on the marketplace early, Unfortunately it didn't appear until 9.30am, as soon as it did I was downloading straight away and staring at the download percentage willing it to go faster.



I first ventured into the arcade mode from the main menu and I was shocked by what I saw, each one of the unlockable characters were already unlocked including Inferno and the Edge Master. So I backed out of the character selection screen to the main menu and thought I must have missed something, upon checking what was still included and what had vanished my heart sank. The much loved mission mode had vanished, gone without even telling me. If you have never had the pleasure of the mission mode, it is basically how you unlock some of the characters, weapons and stages for the game as well as a few other things. When i finally regained my composure I was shocked again, no online play. So how the heck am I supposed to pwn some noob American called Docman88 at the game, he can't really pop round for the afternoon to play it can he.



Despite these two major faults though Soul Calibur is still a great game and probably one of the best fighting games on the 360, its just the only time you may play it is when a mate calls round and you fancy a game before Soul Calibur IV is released, or just to kill a quick 30 minutes here and there. Essentially this game is an Arcade version of the Dreamcast game with Time Attack, Survival And Extra Survival (You hit your enemy once to beat them and vice versa) added on to the normal Arcade mode. The controls are pretty good though and work well with the 360 pad, so you wont be moaning about them like everyone did with Street Fighter 2's dodgy controls. The graphics are very shiny and pretty awesome to look at when you consider this is just an XBLA game. One fault I did find though was playing on medium just seemed to easy, it feels like they dumbed down the difficulty level a bit, but thats easily fixed in the options menu.



Also the musuem mode now feels tacked on where before you had to earn the right to see stuff, not just complete the game with all characters. Talking about the characters Sueng Mina now seems to be a bit weaker than before, but that could just be me as I havent played the Dreamcast version in a while, Siegfried and Knightmare fans will be glad though as there is little change to them if any and they still inflict a major amount of damage with very little effort. Like all other fighting games there is a mix of good and crap characters, but enough choice for everyone.



So should you buy Soul Calibur? I would have to say yes, when you consider some of the crap that costs 800 points on the marketplace then this is definetly worth it. What your getting is one of the best fighting games around for £5 or $10 depending on where you live, whats better that Bigmac meal that will last you 10 minute and make you feel hungry again 10 minutes later, or a gem of a game you can play every now and then for the same price. Face it your fat enough and could do with skipping a meal so get this instead.

Since this is not a full retail game my score is worked out for an arcade game.

The Bourne Conspiracy Review

Who doesn't like the Bourne series of films starring Matt Damon? When you mention the Bourne series everyone thinks Matt Damon, so why in the heck did he turn down the chance to be in the game? Your going to love this, apparently he turned down the role because of the violence in it, Yep that’s right he turned down the game because it was going to contain violence. The Bourne films that he starred in featured absolutely no violence at all in them, oh wait they did and that’s why people like the films as its not violence for the sake of violence its story driven violence that without it would make the films shit. Just like if your going to make a game of a film like the Bourne series and just have the lock picking and driving the car, Who the heck wants to just drive somewhere and pick a lock.



I was dreading playing this game after receiving a demo of the game in the post from Sierra along with a note saying this demo is not for review purposes, So don't review the game based on this. I made my mind up playing the demo that the game would be cack and not worth picking up to play. Well I don't know what they did between the demo and the final release but the game just seems so much better now than it did before. Heck I even enjoyed the game and I'm a miserable sod. The demo suffered from camera issues which have thankfully been improved, there are still some times that you will be annoyed by them, but its very rare now and as a result the game now feels a lot better for it.

One thing that I hated about the demo was the car driving level that sees you driving round the streets of Paris, it just seemed to be wedged in when it wasn't really needed. In the final version of the game I still don't like it, but the good news is that’s the only level in the game that sees you behind the wheel of the mini, and thankfully its pretty short as well.



So what is the game all about, the game is about Jason Bourne as you would expect, but rather than just following the films it also sees you taking up a couple more missions from his past just to pad the game out a bit more. One good thing is this isn't your usual game based on a movie dross, as it tends to lean towards the books, and as a result adds that bit more to the characters past.

The game starts off with you trying to kill another assassin called O'Conner who has been hired by the former African dictator Nykwana Wombosiafter after receiving a tip off that you are trying to assassinate him. So its with little surprise that you need to get your would be assassin before he gets you. There's just one problem he has his own men that are trying to stop you getting to him, so the chase is on through the streets of some town in France as you follow his trail to a back street then into a bar where you get to try your hand at some hand to hand combat.



The controls for hand to hand fighting are really simple to use, with X and Y being your attack buttons and A enabling you to block. So just three buttons then? Nope the B button gives you a special finishing move called a takedown that can see you using the objects around you to quickly defeat your enemy if you have enough adrenaline in your meter. (You get adrenaline by fighting and getting headshots with a weapon)That’s not all though, say you have 2 or 3 enemies around you and your adrenaline meter is full, a little tap of the B button starts a quick time event that will flash a button on the screen for you to press for each enemy, dispatching the lot of them in one go. Failure however will see you lose all the adrenaline you would have used to dispatch them.

The shooting in the games not to bad either with you also being able to get behind cover and pop up and shoot, one thing though is you can only see where your aiming when you aren't in cover so its not like Rainbow Six where you can aim a reticule before you pop out, its all down to guess work. One section later in the game will have you screaming at your TV because of it, but if you use the cover wisely and guess where your going to shoot before you pop from behind cover you wont really have any trouble. Again like in the hand-to-hand combat you can also use the adrenaline gauge to dispatch enemies with little fuss at all. The only difference is you will get a quick time event when dispatching a solo enemy when using the adrenaline shot.



One thing that I wasn't keen on was sometimes while fighting an enemy in hand to hand combat you would rarely get another enemy with a gun shooting you from distance, but you can just move backwards to fight round a corner so the bullets don't hit you. It is annoying none the less though and could have been fixed by the programmers so it doesn't happen before the game was actually released, like I said though its just a minor issue and a rare occurrence.

You also have something called the Bourne Instinct, which allows you to see things that are of interest to you, from guns and ammo crates, to enemies and passports. Why people have left passports stood up like birthday cards around the level is a bit strange, either way High Moon Studios put them in to collect for all the gamers that like to track everything in the game down. When you find them all on a level you unlock an extra which you can access from the start screen.



The game spans over 11 levels in total which will take you around 6-7 hours at a guess, which just seems to fit the game just right. (I played the game over 2 days so cant be exact sorry) So it was a nice surprise from the usual to short or to long that it bores you to tears annoyance that we sometimes see with games.

I would have to give the game a thumbs up though, its a good way to waste away a day or two, and worth a try at least. As game companies normally put that a demo may not match the finished article, this is certainly the case with this game. So if you have tried the demo and you have made your mind up about the game then that’s a shame, your missing out on a good game.

Rating Box Stolen from Console Heroes

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The Dark side of gaming

You can't beat the feeling of unwrapping that brand new game and placing it in your 360, watching the intro and soaking it all in before jumping into the single player story. Sometimes to be enthralled, yet other times only to be disappointed in the shallow excuse for the game.
So what can you do next to get your full moneys worth out of the game? Multi-player over Xbox LIVE of course, playing games with gamers just like you. You know the kind of people that I'm talking about. Ones that enjoy a bit of friendly competition and banter as they try to win with their team mates and friends on such games as Gears Of War, Call Of Duty or Halo.

What can be better than this? Surely it should be the most enjoyable experience and in usual cases it is or should I say "it was". No longer do you hear someone say good luck before a game, or good game afterwards. Oh no, as gamers we have all evolved while online gaming may still be somewhat in its infancy it appears gamers have grown up and are now in their spotty little rebellious teenage state.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a bit of friendly banter before and after a game with shouts of "you guys got owned" and other such things in the lobby. Heck, I'm not to bad at shit talking myself at times and with LIVE now having over 2 million members of all ages and sexes things can only get better as gaming gets more mainstream, cant they? No, for all the good things that gaming is doing to get recognised a minority of gamers are dragging it down and giving more and more ammunition to the haters out there like Fox News and Jack Thompson.

While playing Call of Duty 4 the other night with a bunch of site members we were regaled with such trash talking as "Get Fucking Raped Niggers", "Wow you faggots are gonna get fucked up" along with a few other things. I don't claim to be Mr Squeaky Clean though as I'm sorry to admit I myself have used some of those words myself over LIVE in response or just to get in there before some other asshole gamer that isn't me uses them. The thing is though this kind of thing has fuck all to do with gaming and just ruins the experience for many people that don't want to hear that shit.

Do you gamers actually realise what the fuck your actually saying? Rape is fucking horrible and something nobody should have to suffer. Racism has no place in gaming, the same goes for sexual orientation comments. In the end they're all labeled as hate crimes against your fellow man.

Would you say it in the street? Go on; go outside and say to a complete stranger in the street what you would say on LIVE, see what happens if you have the balls to do so.

Still here? I thought so.

So what is gaming? Well according to the dictionary its (n) The act of playing a video, Internet or computer game.

Something that we all do for fun. Yes its entertainment. So when did entertainment make so many people turn into pricks trying to act tough behind their mics? What is really great, is half the people that say this shit are around 14 years old, for one they are clearly immature and two shouldn't even be playing games rated unsuitable for them. These are the normal idiots you see posting saying "Jack Thompson is a cunt and he should die". Yes Jack Thompson is an ass and has gone about some things the wrong way but at the same time its to stop uncontrollable little bastards like you that your parents don't give two fucks about playing games that have been classified as unsuitable for you or what you do as long as your out of their way. The other half are just inbred morons that need a lobotomy.

Gaming will never be truly accepted till we as gamers start acting like human beings instead of scum, what's the fucking point in companies trying to push the whole gaming genre forward and get it recognised for what it is, if its only going to get spoiled by gamers for you and me?

How about we try to get back to the days where people could play a game without having to mute 10 people in a room to enjoy speaking to one or two people and having a laugh while they play. Gaming is evolving, Maybe its about time that we all did the fucking same and stopped acting like spoilt little brats and big men behind mics and got back to the core purpose of gaming; having fun.

Thoughts From A Caveman Gamer

At the moment I'm doing a series of interviews with gamers for Console Heroes as part of a series im calling Female Gamers?
I thought it would be pretty funny to do an intro before the interviews as a character i like to call Caveman Gamer.

Caveman gamer is basically your average generic asshole male gamer that has the mind set stuck in the days of old. As a result his opinion is women should not be allowed to work, leave mans stuff alone and should concentrate on being a good little housewife and run around after him all day. I actually enjoyed pushing the character and trying to come up with these, although i also found them very challenging as well. Especially as I've been writing the majority of them just after I've formatted the interviews ready to post up straight away.

The results have been mixed, but i got told that some were very funny which was one of the main points of them in the first place, and i also have been told by a few people that i was an asshole. That is until they actually found out it was all just a joke and not my real opinion. So for your amusement heres the ones that i have written so far.

It turns out that we have a problem, no longer are females happy to sit at home baking cakes and having children. First they wanted to vote, then jobs of their own where they get treated equal like a male. (Pretty horrifying so far isnt it, but wait it gets worse, a whole lot worse) Now they want to invade our internetz and play our games.

Well after yesterdays set of interviews i thought the best way to calm down would be to hop on the 360 and play a game or two. So i powered on the 360 and put Dynasty Warriors Gundam in the drive and away i went . The game is about men in big giant robot suits battling to the death to save or destroy mankind or something like that. So surely its going to be a testosterone filled game with lots of violence so you thought i would be happy playing it, and i was really enjoying playing it.

Well i was enjoying the game until i found out that they have women piloting the mechs as well who also cheat and destroy my mech with a few cheap shots. As if women can pilot mechs they can`t even drive cars, so once again females managed to ruin my gaming experience.

I would like to retract my statement about females not being needed in games. I have come to realise what a vital role they play in the gaming landscape. Without Peach and Daisy Mario would have never had a inferior human being to rescue, and the franchise may never have changed the landscape of gaming to getting to the point as we know it today. There would be nobody to come last in Mario Kart. No boobs to stare at while playing Dead Or Alive and no Lara Croft`s ass to stare at as she crawled through tight spaces. So we do indeed need females in games if only to show how inferior they are and to oggle while playing games.

Most of you will agree that Goldeneye was one of the best games on the Nintendo 64, there is a reason why this is true, you played as James Bond a secret agent who is known for his kick ass skills as a spy. It was a case of right character at the in the right game. But what would happen if you replaced James Bond with a female character and set the game in th future? Well you would get Perfect Dark which despite its biggest failing of featuring a female character was rescued by Rare`s ability to make great games, it was a lucky break and as i said back then it was a big mistake for them to use a female in clearly a males role. Luckily time proved me right when they tried to emulate the success with Joanna Dork like they had the first time around. This ended up with a really bad game and storys saying Rare was finished. The game would have been so much better if it had a male character in the role instead, girls shooting guns? Dont make me laugh, its bad enough that they think they can drive, they really shouldn`t be encouraged anymore than they have been already.

Well i have had nothing but complaints about my intro the other day. I'm not sure exactly why, surely you should be happy that i finally admitted that we need females in games. I find it quite shocking that the females out there have time to read an intro and complain. When you know deep down that you should be doing the cleaning and cooking. Since some of you don't know how to be a good housewife, i think it is about time that you learned some of the basics. So put the pads down, click this link read it and then get back into the kitchen where you belong.

Well today you will all be glad to know that yet again I went out of my way to prove that females can't play games. Yesterday I got a link of someone saying you need to watch the skills of some female player on Guitar Hero 3, I don't know that I have ever heard of a female Guitar Hero player before either. I'll admit she wasn't half bad, she was all bad. So I thought, "I know ill dig out the old axe and give it a dust off to see if i still have my mad skills". And you know what...I was bringing the house down. As I shredded to Through the Fire and Flames with no trouble at all, I jumped up in the air doing an amazing scissor kick and unfortunately, my landing was slightly off and I ended up smashing through the coffee table. So not only did I beat her score, I also demolished a table in the process. Further proof that males not only play games better but also rock out better and harder as well.

Well since you females out there are continuing to play games i have some great news for you. Since Cooking Mama, the hi-tech cooking aid to teach women the world over how to cook was such a success, news has just hit the press sites that a follow up is on the way. Yes thats right yet another teaching game is on its way just for you females. So coming this fall to consoles everywhere is Cleaning Mama, with activites such as vacuuming, polishing and all other general household duties that you all should be doing.

Well i hope you enjoyed them, if not meh screw you guys.
:p

One Of My All Time Favourite Musicians

Well i was just sat here feeling sad as i do on occasion, with a million things going through my head, when i thought fuck it ill put some music on. Time after time i return to this song as its great and the lyrics are just awesome. Yeah i know what song is it? Well is Song To Sing When Im Lonely by John Frusciante (Guitarist with the Chili Peppers) Hes a musician in his own right as well though with 10 albums to his name to date which are all pretty awesome.

So heres the my favourite song by him with just random images, with the next youtube video being a live version of the same song.





A song to play when I'm lonely
Win and never play a game again
No one to face when I'm falling
Holding tight to dreams that never end

I'll be you
I do
I'll be you

No one's afraid to be called by another name
No one dares to be put down where they don't belong
Nowhere's anyone's reason
Everything dying and leaving

Out with these faults and you make me a baby
Faking a movement by no one seeing it
No one always finds peace flung
No one chooses to beat my pride down
Symbols pierce right through me
People fail to be drawn up
Sunlight to fade accumulates
Loving pain to be clung to
By luminous bodies
Only waiting for long signs to be wrong
And true to us
Out of place in my own time
Drowning thinking that I'm dry

Holding on to facts that will never be proven
Faking an action cause no one's looking
Hello when I'm crashing
Feel nothing when my life's flashing before my eyes

You should've threw me down
Is the content so much
You should've threw me down
Is the content so much
You should've threw me down
Is the content so much
You should've threw me down
Is the content so much



This is him just fucking about with Flea & Chad before a Chili Peppers show starts properly.



If you like his stuff he has an acoustic version of one of his albums for download free from his website.