Girlfriend Not A Gamer? No Problem

Quite a lot of females these days have played a game or two when they were younger, a bit of Sonic here, Mario there and a few others in between. Well I thought to myself the other day how can I get my girlfriend to play a few games every so often (Mainly so I don't have to watch shitty soaps on the TV) Sure she enjoys the odd game of "Buzz" every so often yet surely if she enjoys that then she can enjoy a few more games.

Well it turns out that while talking the other night I found out that some of the games she remembers playing with fond memories are the Mario Bros, (What a surprise) Sonic and the Alex Kidd games So I decided to see if she would like a few other games on the Wii. Upon turning the Wii on she saw that I had Alex Kidd in Miracle World and her face lit up. The reason being that she used to play this with her brother as a kid (It's an awesome game that SEGA really should have built on instead of shitty follow ups that made Alex just vanish into history) So we had a quick go on that before resetting the Wii. (For some reason the Wii won't display the game correctly so it's not as enjoyable to play on there)

Next I put New Super Mario Bros into the Wii so that my better half could see how games can be just like the ones she played as a kid except a lot better as well. (She also commented on how the graphics were really bright and colourful, always a good thing to catch your girlfriends eye and try to hook them in) Before we knew it about 3 hours had passed before we turned off the Wii and went to sleep.

The next day at lunch Sam started talking about Mario again and saying "Can we play it again tonight?" So basically that's what we did for a few hours last night. Slowly but surely she is now getting the gaming bug, ok she wants to play a few games that aren't exactly what I would pick to play (although Cooking Mama is fun) Yet it is a start, so all I now have to do is just try and get her to try a few more games and really hook her in. Let's face it gaming is always more fun when 2 people play (although I will have to remember not to use some of the Call of Duty expletives some players use when I win)

So basically here are my tips to turn your non-gaming girlfriend into a gamer:

• Try to find out if she has ever played any games, and if so which games she enjoyed (ask her brothers, sisters, friends)
• Start of with Wii games as the controller is more girlfriend friendly (as she will still ask what does she press with only 6 buttons on the Wii-mote)
• Try and get updated versions of anything she enjoyed (New Super Mario Bros, Sonic Colours)
• Make sure you put the brightest and most colourful game on first to try and hook them in (Most females like colour and pretty things)
• Try and get something with short mini games as well, so she doesn't get bored. (Wario Smooth Moves, Cooking Mama or something like that where 5 minutes is enough for a game)
• Remember she may not be ready for generic shooter x or any other games for a while (You have to ease her into gaming)
• Be prepared for the fact that she may never like the same games as you, not everyone wants to play Call of Duty or Final Fantasy XIII
• Lastly if she does enjoy playing then just let her choose when she wants to play (Let's face it she will always want to watch shitty soaps like Coronation Street and East Enders)

If you follow those steps then you may just end up with another gaming partner, just don't ge

t pissed off when she starts beating you. Well I am off to see if I can get her to play Tatsunoko Vs Capcom, I highly doubt that she will, but I figure it's worth a try.

Games I Really Should Finish

The other night I was looking for something to play, staring at my shelves I saw quite a few games that I hadn't finished never mind some that I had still yet to start. So it got me thinking which games do I really need to play and finish before I forget about them completely, it also made me question why I hadn't finished them as well. I mean over the course of my life I have started and finished numerous games, even crap like My Horse & Me 2! So just why is it that I have some great games just sitting there on my shelf begging to be played to completion and I am just ignoring them choosing to play some pile of shite instead?

I bought this recently thinking I really need to play this after enjoying the first game (although I got bored with collecting all the flags in the first one so never finished that either) Since then it has been sat on my shelf for a few weeks only to be ignored. I am determined to play through the game sooner rather than later though.

I first bought inFamous on release and really did start to enjoy the game, although I did end up lending it to my next door neighbour the next day so he could see if he wanted to get it or not. About 2 months past until I finally got the game back, by then I couldn't be arsed with the game so put it on my shelf to collect dust.

Why I bought Killzone 2 is beyond me as I really didn't like the first game, (Which really should have warned me off the sequel) I still can't make my mind up over this game as I really don't like the control system, yet I have enjoyed the time I have spent with the game. Maybe I am just used to the controls on the 360 when playing shooters.

Split Second was one of those games that looked really good and I just had to play, yet so long after and I still can't be arsed playing it after dumping it onto my shelf. I think the reason why I stopped playing the game was either due to nagging or cheap A.I. (Hopefully it was due to nagging since I aim to give the game another whirl over the next few weeks)

Uncharted took the idea of Tomb Raider and ran with it resulting in a more solid and fun game, yet still this game got taken out of my PS3 and dumped on the shelf for some unknown reason. What really puzzles me though is as well as not finishing this game I also have the second one still sealed sat next to it.

What is really annoying though is these are just a few of the games that I need to either play or finish, its scandalous the amount I have spent on games just to never play. I know we all do it, but generic game x as it is on sale and seems like a bargain at the time, then 2 months on and it's completely forgotten about. Maybe I need to start looking at what I actually have to play in future rather than buying yet more games to ignore.

Older Games I Really Should Finish

The other night I was looking for something to play, staring at my shelves I saw quite a few games that I hadn't finished never mind some that I had still yet to start. So it got me thinking which games do I really need to play and finish before I forget about them completely, it also made me question why I hadn't finished them as well. I mean over the course of my life I have started and finished numerous games, even crap like My Horse & Me 2! So just why is it that I have some great games just sitting there on my shelf begging to be played to completion and I am just ignoring them choosing to play some pile of shite instead?

I bought this recently thinking I really need to play this after enjoying the first game (although I got bored with collecting all the flags in the first one so never finished that either) Since then it has been sat on my shelf for a few weeks only to be ignored. I am determined to play through the game sooner rather than later though.

I first bought inFamous on release and really did start to enjoy the game, although I did end up lending it to my next door neighbour the next day so he could see if he wanted to get it or not. About 2 months past until I finally got the game back, by then I couldn't be arsed with the game so put it on my shelf to collect dust.

Why I bought Killzone 2 is beyond me as I really didn't like the first game, (Which really should have warned me off the sequel) I still can't make my mind up over this game as I really don't like the control system, yet I have enjoyed the time I have spent with the game. Maybe I am just used to the controls on the 360 when playing shooters.

Split Second was one of those games that looked really good and I just had to play, yet so long after and I still can't be arsed playing it after dumping it onto my shelf. I think the reason why I stopped playing the game was either due to nagging or cheap A.I. (Hopefully it was due to nagging since I aim to give the game another whirl over the next few weeks)

Uncharted took the idea of Tomb Raider and ran with it resulting in a more solid and fun game, yet still this game got taken out of my PS3 and dumped on the shelf for some unknown reason. What really puzzles me though is as well as not finishing this game I also have the second one still sealed sat next to it.

What is really annoying though is these are just a few of the games that I need to either play or finish, its scandalous the amount I have spent on games just to never play. I know we all do it, but generic game x as it is on sale and seems like a bargain at the time, then 2 months on and it's completely forgotten about. Maybe I need to start looking at what I actually have to play in future rather than buying yet more games to ignore.

Flea's Non-Gaming Weekend

Me, My Uncle & Sam

Well over the last weekend I haven't really played anything at all as I went to my uncles wedding in Scotland. It was a great weekend though full of laughs and actually no fighting at all. (I didn't know you could have weddings without someone kicking off and spoiling it due to being pissed as a fart)

Wedding car & typical Scottish weather

Some of the highlights included my uncle asking the registrar for a date after the wedding if she wasn't doing anything, producing a kid's Mickey Mouse ring from his pocket to give to his future wife during the ceremony, and later at the evening event standing on a chair to dance with his bride as she was a few inches taller than him in her heels which had everyone in stitches.

My dad, uncle & me

Then after returning home late on Sunday night I ended up just watching a film with Sam. This was supposed to be followed up with a trip to Blackpool on Monday since we both booked the day off work, but due to shitty weather we just went to town and had Chinese Buffet and bought some bits and bats. (including some new games so expect something on those soonish) So that about sums up my weekend of none gaming.

Impressions: E.D.F. Insect Armageddon

As soon as I found out another E.D.F. game was being made I was rather excited, you see despite the flaws of E.D.F. 2017 on the xbox 360 there is a certain charm laying underneath that makes the game great. As a result I ended up buying Global Defence Force and Global Defence Force Tactics on the PS2 so I could see if these games were just as much fun.

After playing Global Defence Force I was quite surprised at how much more great features were in the game that were missing from it's successor E.D.F. 2017. Features such as the ability to pick between different characters and the use of a jet pack character that totally changed the way you played the game due to not only to the ability to fly but also the available weapons in the game for each character.

Insect Armageddon takes this formula and tweaks it slightly giving you 4 possible different character types to choose from. The trooper type is the standard soldier that has appeared in the other games, with mid level armour and manoeuvrability. The Jet pack type is basically the same as the pale wing character from G.D.F. except without the plasma weapons. (at least to the point I have used that type) Fast and able to get out of a horde of ants in a quick manner.

The next up is basically your heavy armoured type, slow and probably having superior fire power to the other types. Although to be honest I haven't even bothered trying this character out yet due to my insistence of using the tactical character.

The last character is the tactical type, this character has deployable turrets and lighter armour than the standard trooper. While this means he can take more damage dropping a turret and getting away from a swarm of enemies means you still thin their numbers while playing defensive at the same time, before then running in all guns blazing.

One thing I don't like about this game though is it feels like an E.D.F. game in name only, sure all the monsters are there and you still get your fellow troops saying dumb one liners that don't even make sense. There is just something missing though that takes away the shine of the game, some of the larger enemies see you just spamming the fire button for 5-10 minutes or sometimes longer. (Which then gets you thinking what's the fucking point in giving it so many hit points)

Then throw in the fact that there is only 15 missions in the game, so as soon as you start getting into it the game finishes. Sure there is the tagged on Survival mode as well as the remixed version of the game. Yet this is shocking when compared to both E.D.F. and G.D.F. which both exceeded 50 levels. The game feels like all the work has gone into the graphics this time around and the game play has kinda been tagged on at the end. It's as if all the great things that made the series a cult classic cheese-a-thon have vanished, yet strangely are all there at the same time. I did miss the ability to blow up the insect holes with rockets and other weapons, since in this game you now have to plant explosives. (Kinda like in Counter-strike) which kinda pissed me off.

I will always like the E.D.F. series yet this has to be one of the worst games I have played in the series. If you liked 2017 you may like this, but then again you could get left with a bitter taste in your mouth upon finishing the final level. Sure the Hectors have never looked better, the spiders are still annoying as hell with their webs yet someone has stolen this games soul. If you play it think the worst and hopefully you may enjoy Insect Armageddon a lot more than I did.

First Impressions: Tony Hawk Shred

HMV is currently selling "Tony Hawk: Shred" for a measly £17.99 on the PS3 and 360 so I just had to pick it up and give it a go. I originally bought it about a week ago and unpacked the board, receiver and game then. Placing the board next to my GH Guitar and the game on the shelf with my PS3 games ready for when I wanted to test the game out.

There was just one problem though, I kinda forgot all about the receiver while giving the game a try. This saw me swearing at the PS3 for not connecting to the board (much to the amusement of my missus) as I turned the system on and off about 3 times trying to get it to connect before grabbing the instructions and spotting the receiver unit just sat there secretly laughing at me.

Once the board was connected I had to go through the boring calibration which again seemed to take forever (about 5-10 minutes real time) once this was all sorted out I hopped on to "Quick Play" accidentally choosing to go through the training mode at the same time. (20 minutes and much boredom later) I was on my way, basically "Shred" is an on rails type of game kinda like SSX Tricky but simpler due to having to use the motion board.

The experience is a bit tricky at first and sometimes you can end up doing tricks by accident and taking a different path to the one your originally selected. (This should pass with time though as you get more used to the controller) I have to admit though that I did enjoy the experience and think the game could turn out to be something of a great game to play when you have a few friends round and the beer is flowing. I know the game got some poor reviews and a lot of people have avoided it, but you really should give the game a try if only for the experience. I can see Tony Hawk: Shred joining the likes of Buzz, Rock Band, Guitar Hero, Sing Star, Wii Sports and a few other games as a drunken party essential.

Duke Nukem Forever Sucks Balls

Duke Nukem Forever has been 12 years in the making; I can't help but feel that those 12 years have been wasted after playing the game. You can normally tell if you are going to like a game by the first 10-30 minutes of game play. Well after about 2 hours or so I had made up my mind that the game sucked balls. (Not balls of steel)

The first encounter with the cyclops was a great starting point to the game, sadly though after that I can't help but feel that the game started to go downhill fast. What should have been a great game just ended up feeling a bit shitty, the graphics while great in some parts looked crap in others. The whole feel of the game started to feel a bit of a let down, like the point where you control a remote control car to get a energy coil. Sure it's a bit different but I just thought "wow this is shitty" it just felt out of place.

Then shortly after you get shrunk down and end up climbing inside and driving another remote control car. This is where boredom really set in for me and once I completed this level and part of the next I had to reach for the off switch. Normally I would go back to a game I get bored off and give it another try to just see if I didn't like it just because of the mood I was in at the time. However Duke Nukem will forever be consigned to the shitty games I will never play again pile.