Ratchet & Clank: A Crack In Time

Ratchet and Clank is probably one of Sony's best selling game series with "A Crack In Time" being the ninth game to be released. (5 PS2 games, 2 PSP game and 3 PS3 games, with Size Matters being ported from the PSP to the PS2) Lets face it if you have ever owned a Sony system then you will have at played one of the Ratchet and Clank games at some time or another. Some of you will be glad to know that "A Crack In Time" is yet more of the same great 3D platforming slash shooting action that the series is best known and loved for. (Even better now though as the annoying underwater sections don't make an appearence in the game)


If however you have yet to play a Ratchet & Clank game due to being in a Siberian prison for the last 15 years, surviving on gruel and water for crimes against the state. Then you are in for a treat as not only has the world has changed so much but gaming has moved forward so much since when you were locked away in your cold damp cell. (Games now come on a thing called Disks instead of cartridges, amazing or what) Basically think Mario 64 with big ass and crazy weapons with humour a bit similar to Conker and you will be heading somewhere in the right direction.

EVIL GENIUS RETURNS!!..with butler

The evil (highley amusing) Dr Nefarious and his mechanical butler Lawrence make a welcome return as the bad guys in the game. (I just couldn't warm to Emperor Percival Tachyon as the bad guy in the last two games, he just to entertain when compared to the ultimate bad guy Dr Nefarious) Captain Quark also makes his usual prescence felt through the game again (The classic village idiot/cowardly hero) upon completing the game there is a part after the credits with him that really cracked me up, so just don't wander off when the credits start rolling.

One thing that make the Ratchet and Clank series enjoyable is the imagination that goes into the script and the weapons featured in the game. (All of which can be levelled up to cause even more death and destruction) These really need to be seen in action, with the Rhino V5 being completely mental to say the least.

The Ratchet & Clank series will always have parts that you enjoy more than others, for example I hated the underwater sections in the previous games that don't appear in "A Crack In Time", yet I also still don't enjoy the Clank only sections either that much, sure it does add more of a puzzling element to the game but I am happy with the death and destruction that Ratchet brings. This time however I did enjoy the Clank sections than I have done in previous games as the new puzzles were quite enjoyable to play through, with the ones needing completing for the last few gold bolts being a particular pain in the ass. (In a good way though)

HE REALLY IS A DUMBASS!

Once completing the game you also get given the chance to play through the game again on the harder Challenge Mode. (This gives you the chance to get your hands on even more powerful versions of your weapons, and everything you got in your first playthrough carries over just like in the previous games) The game demands to be played through again on this mode, this is what gaming is all about, not Trophies and Achievements as so many gamers seem preoccupied with nowdays. Gaming should be about fun and enjoyment and Ratchet & Clank is the embodiment of this, seeking little more than to entertain you from start to finish, so much so that you will want to play it again upon completion.

A Crack In Time is another Ratchet & Clank game that does everything right, and so little wrong. If you have never played a Ratchet & Clank game before then this could be the game that makes you want to pick up the previous games in the series, and play through the back story of Ratchet & Clank. (Ratchet & Clank 1-3 on the PS2 are amazing games which are still as playable today as they were upon first release)

A Gazillion Deaths

Demon's Souls

This is one fantastic looking game, featuring huge enemies and amazing graphics. At first I was on the fence about importing this game, but I am so glad that I took the chance and decided to spend more money and get it now, rather than waiting another god knows how many months for it to arrive in the UK. Sure I have died on the game about a gazillion times but for every time I have died it has been my own fault. The only person to blame is me and my own stupidity for trying to rush ahead only to be flame grilled by a dragon resulting in me normally saying "For fucks sake" or "This is bullshit!" Yet I still return to the game for yet more deaths as I plod on with the game.

Borderlands

Not many games as of late have made me want to just keep playing and pushing forward just to get that little bit further in the game. I was really looking forward to Modern Warfare 2, and while I have spent a fair bit of time with it I just haven't really been drawn into the game as much as I thought I would have. Heck I have felt that way about quite a lot of games as of late, with only a few titles really managing to hold my interest for more than 20 minutes. Those ones have been Red Alert 3: Commanders Challenge, Astro Tripper, Borderlands and current favourite Demon's Souls.

Final Fantasy XIII

I did start to think that I had started to fall out of love with gaming as I struggled to find a reason to pick up the pad and play. Long gone are the days where I would get in from work at 2.30 in the afternoon and proceed to play games until I went to sleep. Gaming should be about fun and enjoyment, I just have to remember to make sure that I enjoy other things as well. At this moment in time I am enjoying a healthy balance of gaming and other things in my life. I guess I will always love gaming as long as there is something that I want to play, with games like The White Knight Chronicles, Final Fantasy XIII, God of War 3, Dante's Inferno and many more on the way I should be happy for quite a while.

Demon's Souls Hard? Ha Ha Ha

There are a lot of people saying that Demon's Souls is a hard game, well I have to say damn right it's hard. The bastard thing is a pain in the ass to play, but in a good way. Demon's Souls is kinda like a throw back to games of old as it punishes you for not learning how the game works. Take the enemies early on in the game for example, these bastards all attack in different ways and have there own strengths, weaknesses as well as patterns of attack. One of the Knights you meet pretty early on in the game he is extremely vulnerable just after he has tried attacking you, this seems really simple but until you actually sit back and think why the hell is this cunt killing me all the time as you try going toe to toe with him, that you actually realise where you have been going wrong. The game punishes ignorance and impatience, every enemy in the game can kill you given you half the chance.


Demon's Souls is an intelligent hack and slash RPG, yet it is so much more than you first see on the surface. This is a game I can see myself getting equally pissed off with and also enjoy playing. I can see a lot of people getting this game and putting it in their PS3 only to take it out 5 minutes later and throw it to one side.There is one thing every high scoring review of this game says and that is stick with it and you won't be sorry. Let's face it you will either hate the games difficulty and give up or stick with the game and try to complete what is being called the hardest RPG made to date, either way this is one game you should at leat try.

PS3 OCD

Well I decided to make a list of my PS3 games for some unknown reason in excel, while doing this my girlfriend repeatedly told me I was a bit mental and should get treatment for my OCD. Maybe I do have OCD to a certain extent my behavioural patterns do seem to support the theory, with me doing stuff like turning the light switch on and off four times in my old room at my dads before leaving the house. Then there is the need to arrange games and cd's into alphabetical order.

If I do have OCD though then at least I am putting it to good use making pretty little lists of things like my PS3 collection and other stuff. lol

The review that never was...Beatles Rockband

And Oasis can piss off as well the cunts!

Now as some of you may know I write (when I have time, which lately I have had none) reviews for Console Heroes. Well I decided to review The Beatles Rockband after receiving it through the post, however my review was deemed unsuitable because I dislike The Beatles. My point is reviewers don't always get to play and review games that they like, if that was the case then there would be no point in reviewing anything as everything would get a great score, while the people that pay for the game end up getting pissed off that they bought or rented a game they won't like. So anyway on with what I consider a fair review for a game I am not a fan off. (6/10 is still a very good score though, its better than average after all)

The Beatles are one of the best selling artists of all time with a string of hits and a extensive back catalogue. So they seem like a perfect band to receive their own edition of Rockband. A fact that is seemingly backed up by the sales figures of the game and the rate that their Cd's are still selling at today.

It's Rockband with shit music

There is one problem with the Rockband series of games which I am sure you will agree with me about, and that is if you don't like the song that you are playing you won't enjoy it. This kinda leaves a problem with me and The Beatles, you see I am one of those people that dislike the band with a passion. Sure I can admit that they have had a major influence and deserve their place in music history, but I just don't like them.


I know what your thinking, there must be some Beatles songs that I like and there is probably only one song that I don't mind and that is "A Day In The Life" (A song that isn't actually included on the disc but will be released as DLC) So as you would expect the game pretty much sucked for me. Yes I even hated playing "Yellow Submarine", "Lucy In The Sky" and "Here Comes The Sun"

Fab Four? Doesn't look like R.A.T.M. to me

The games spans all of the career with most of the hits of The Beatles included in the game. The characters all look as you would expect them to look through out the various stages of their career and blah blah blah. Lets face it you know what Rockband is already and know what to expect from a game with the Rockband name in the title, and if you don't you have either been in outer space for the last few years or you have had your head stuck up your ass. There are also more Beatles tracks on the way for the game from now until the end of the year as DLC as EA and Harmonix try to squeeze every penny from your wallets.

So should you buy The Beatles Rockband? Well you need to ask yourself 2 questions, "Do you like the Beatles?" and"Do you want to play there songs in Rockband?" If the answer to both those questions is yes then this game is ideal for you, if like me however the answer is no to one of them, then avoid like the plague as you probably won't enjoy the game.


Audio – 2
Visuals – 8
Game play – 8
Lifespan – 5
Presentation – 8
Overall – 6

Red Alert 3 Commanders Challenge

I picked this up the other day for the PS3 and I have to say its pretty cool for the price. You can't really argue with what you get for a lousy £10 or so, especially when you consider the amount of time you will get from the game with around 50 or so missions said to be included.

Commanders Challenge is basically harder missions than you would see in a regular C&C campaign, Something you will learn pretty fast as the game kicks your ass. One of the reasons for this is because you have to complete missions to unlock certain units or tech to use in the game. This just adds to the challenge of the game though and makes you want to replay a mission you have previously cleared, just to get your time under the par time.

For Mother Russia!

One thing I thought would be in the game that was in Red Alert 3 was the chance of teaming up with a fellow commander, which was a unique idea but after some of the AI makes me glad it hasn't returned in this edition. So now you only have the cheating bastard AI to blame for losing instead of the retarded AI on your side. I have still to truly scratch the surface of this game, but after only 8 or so missions in, I am really enjoying the experience.

Rick Flair??? lol

While it may not be the best C&C game of all time, it is certainly one of the toughest and one you would be a fool to miss out on although it is a shame that there is no skirmish mode included.If your new to the world of C&C go pick up Red Alert 3 and give that a go first, as jumping straight in with this game could just have you pulling your hair out.

Moan, Moan, Bloody Moan!

Most of the arcade games on Xbox Live and the Playstation Network aren't worth shit. A fact I know most of my mates agree with me on, as we moan to each other about how such and such a game is a pile of shit, and not worth the points or money one of us dumb ass mofo`s just dropped on the pile of crap. This could be avoided quite easily if the trials lasted a bit longer than 2 minutes of the game, or in the case of the PSN games actually had a trial version instead of having to dump money on a game hoping it maybe cool.

Topatoi falls into that category after dumping roughly £10 on the game thinking it looked like it could be okay. How wrong could I have been as the preview video didn't show exactly how shite the game really is. (Okay I know I shouldn't be surprised that the preview video looked more fun than the game itself, but I am sure many others have also been fooled by film trailers which do the same thing.)

Shitty Game Topatoi!

On the same day I bought Topatoi I also bought The Punisher and Numblast. The Punisher is a pretty good game overall, well that is until you hop online and suffer from lag issues and invincible opponents. Which in turn made me wish I hadn't wasted £8 on the fucking thing, especially since the online could have been so much more fun as it reminded me of a poor man's Unreal Tournament. While Numblast looks like a piece of shit but is surprisingly not to bad of a game, and one I can see myself wasting away a few hours on here and there. It's your typical puzzler that just draws you in and eat's up your time, so you can never have just on quick go.

I recently downloaded the new Battlefield 1943 trial for the PS3 as I was thinking of purchasing the game. Upon loading the game you press start and get asked to make a EA account. (Something I already have but the PS3 won't let me use for some reason) So I thought fuck it I would make a new one only to be greeted with a screen that basically says "Fuck You, go and play something else!" okay it may not say those words exactly but it may as well do as I can't get the game to work. So as a result I have saved myself £15 which can go towards my beer and whore fund, so thanks EA for that. :)



That's not to say that there aren't some decent games coming out with a few of my favourites being Shatter on the PS3 and Yosumin! Live on the 360. Both of these games have pretty basic game play, but they are fun all the same and are currently taking up quite a bit of my time.

Shatter really is a cool game. :)

Shatter is basically an updated clone of Arkanoid, with quite a few changes to make the game a lot more entertaining today. One of the main ones has to be the bosses that appear every 5-10 stages or so, I really didn't expect to see bosses in this type of game and while they sound out of place are perfect for the game. Another nice touch is the ability to either suck or blow jets of air with your ship, which helps bend the ball around the back of some blocks. Describing the game really does not do it justice. You really should take the time to check it out if you get the chance.

Dumb name, fun game!

Yosumin Live is surprisingly made by Square Enix, which is why I bought the game in the first place. (I am a sucker for most Square Enix and Koei titles no matter how shit the game could be) Yosumin is a puzzle game that has you making rectangles by highlighting 4 tiles of the same colour. It really is a simple game and at the same time quite addictive. If you manage to get 4 tiles of the same colour in each corner of the grid you can highlight them all for a Yosumin! (No I don't know what one is either but apparently it's good) There really isn't much more to the game than that, it is just a simple puzzle game.

If it wasn't for the fact that a buddy bought Shatter and I didn't have some points left on my 360 account that have been sat there months. I would have missed out on both of these games. So thanks to Dave for making me try Shatter and thanks to Microsoft for raising the price of most XBLA titles ensuring I had 800 points for Yosumin.

Oh and as a side note WTF are Koei doing releasing Samurai Warriors 3 as a Wii exclusive title? The fucking tools. :(